“You would think people would see that homophobia is not in their best interests. And because homophobia is a an expression of gender oppression it also reflects how marginalized women tend to be in that society and their inability to truly be independent and contribute their intellect, skills and talent to the economic pool; as well and how limited men are made to be as they must conform to rigid and oftentimes unhealthy macho pigeon-holes.”

– Random Huffington Post comment

Gay thoughts

As a casual Reddit and Imgur user I’ve noticed a weird trend over the past two years. Both sites have begun to have a lot of content related to gay rights. While I no problem with homosexuality and have a few gay bros, I do get a little tired of everyone acting like there’s some kind of Jihad against homosexuals. Between BuzzFeed, The Huffington Post, and Reddit you’d think that we lived in a society where gay people are being hunted to extinction. Murderous rednecks and religious types are, were you to believe any of these sources, constantly attacking and assaulting anyone who isn’t straight. This is stupid. I live a flyover state that legalized gay marriage way before California did. The myth that people who live in the Midwest are violent and intolerant apes is just stupid. While I’m sure there are some religious nuts and trashy rednecks who do hate others, the vast majority of people could care less about what you do.

The Midwest is not filled with zealots

According to numerous reports from the media anyone who leaves the cost is immediately murdered by Bible thumping yokels who “don’t take kindly to city folk.” In reality Iowa has a higher percentage of atheists than New York does. You can even have friendly debates about religion with people and they aren’t going to get upset. Assuming that you aren’t some whiny neckbeard no one is going to care or argue with you about religious beliefs. People in the state are pretty intelligent and we have some of the smartest cities in the nation. No one is jumping out of their turnip trucks to fight with strangers.

People are liberals

The Midwest loves socialism. Seriously, a lot of the area was settled by Scandinavians who brought their liberal ideas to the area. Floyd B. Olson is generally considered to be Minnesota’s greatest governor and there are a lot of various relics to socialism that can be found throughout the region. As some commenter on a Republican forum once said “Iowa is a lost cause.” There are numerous people from California who have vacation houses around here and get along fine with local residents.

You only live around people like you

No one goes on vacation to the ghettos of Detroit. When you travel or move somewhere you go to an area that has people like you. When I go out of the country I’m not staying in a place with a high crime rate and lots of poverty. I’m going to an area that meets or exceeds my normal standard of living. Why would I downgrade? I wouldn’t move to some rundown slum where the locals would be more than happy to cause trouble to their gringo visitors, I doubt any gays are itching to move next to the Westboro Baptist Church. There are plenty of places that I could go and get into trouble with the locals, more on that in a moment, so I simply avoid those areas. It’s pretty simple to do. The last time I was in Chicago I went for a walk during the dead of night. I didn’t run into any trouble and the only people I saw were all friendly. Why? Because I don’t stay in the bad part of town. While the city might be the murder capital all the bad stuff happens in one area. The part I’m not in. If I want to walk around or get a late night snack there’s nothing that’s going to happen to me.

Rednecks hate everyone

Last year I went to hang out with a friend from school. He lives in a pretty small town. We went out and I started talking to some girl there. Within about thirty seconds I was surrounded by about four big yokels who all wanted to know what I thought I was doing. If you’re a straight man and go to some tiny town you’ll run into trouble. A lot of country boys like to fight. I’ve heard several stories about dudes who visited or lived in small towns and ended up getting into fights over some girl. Rather than starting some sort of viral campaign to end heterophobia I just avoid going to those places. It’s common sense and I’d rather stick around people who I’m similar to anyway. If you go into some country bar in the middle of nowhere and try to get laid you’ll end up in trouble. It doesn’t matter if your gay or straight.

The “macho pigeon-hole” argument is stupid

While writing this post I ate a Noosa yogurt and listened to Queen of Disaster by Lana Del Rey. Those aren’t exactly macho activities. The whole argument that men are somehow oppressed by a crippling fear of being perceived as gay is just stupid. Most dudes are so soft that they never have to fear being pigeon-holed as macho anyway. As far as everyone else goes who really cares. If some dude calls me gay for wearing pink shoes or a flamboyant shirt why would I get upset? Pirates wore tight pants, bright shirts with ruffles, and gaudy accessories. No one mistook them for being effeminate. Some of the toughest men in history had unmanly hobbies like music, writing, painting, dance, and poetry. Instead of dropping by Buffalo Wild Wings for a beer they were revolutionizing our culture. If some guy in relaxed fit jeans and a shirt from Old Navy wants to say something it’s not like I’d be losing sleep anyway.

A few weeks ago I was listening to a podcast where the host was talking about violent activities being on the decline. He mentioned that in his grandfather’s youth two men who had a disagreement would physically fight each other. There would be blood, broken bones, and missing teeth. Now people who hate each other will just hold a grudge. Despite violence being at an all time low the media still acts like we live in the wild west. My dad and guys in his age range all have stories about massive bar fights erupting and people getting injured with bottles and pool sticks. Fighting used to be pretty common. It isn’t any more. I can go out and see people of every single background and they are all getting along. No one cares anymore.

“While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”

– Groucho Marx

A higher game of chess

Last week I made more almost three times as much money as I did exactly one year ago. I was planning on writing some kind of witty and insightful post about what I learned from doubling my income, but I couldn’t think of anything. While not having to worry about being broke is nice, there’s only one thing that my progress taught me. It’s something of a recurring lesson and has popped up in a lot of different aspects of my life. The only thing that growing as a person has ever made me realize is just how much stupid stuff I’ve put up with in the past.

Around this time last year I went out to a bar and had to park four blocks away. It was the only space left. As anyone who has ever had to walk with a girl wearing high heels can tell you, you’re going to hear a lot of complaints. It gets annoying after a few minutes. Additionally, my going out shoes aren’t exactly comfortable either. By the end of the trip both of us had really sore feet.

The last time that I went out I didn’t want to have to deal with the hassle of parking in some remote area. I coughed up a couple bucks and had my car stored in a parking garage that was right across the street. Back  in the day that would have been an expensive inconvenience for me. I made $10 an hour, putting my car in a garage would have eaten up a significant chunk of my daily bread. Putting my car away in any place that wasn’t free would have seemed like something that I’d never do. Now I can’t even image the stress of having to drive around while looking for an empty parking space.

Likewise, I don’t like going out at night that much any more. Outside of a couple excursions earlier this year I really haven’t had any incentive to go club hopping. I don’t drink and I think that most drunk people are annoying. Earlier this year I went out, spent half an hour standing in the freezing cold, and then got freight-trained be a “big boned” girl who was rushing out the door so that she could get teriyaki tacos from a food truck across the street. While I ended up laughing about the incident, it did put a damper on my night. When I got home I decided that there were better ways to meet girls than going to mediocre bars.

There’s nothing better than controlling your own destiny

When you have a job or have to take orders from other people you are powerless. A slave. You trade your life for $10 an hour. They pay you so that you can live another day and grovel for some over time. You don’t get the luxury of ever learning how much you hate mundane little nuisances. They feed you table scarps and you think it’s a sirloin. With no frame of reference how are you to know any better?

There’s a certain thrill in getting to do things that others can’t. Schadenfreude perhaps. When everyone else has to drive down the street and hunt for their parking spots, yelling and going crazy when someone else pulls in before them, you get to smile and park a hundred yards outside the club. To the girl who works at Hollister you might as well be Elon Musk. She’s not going to have to walk a mile like all her friends.

When people think of luxury they like to envision private yacht parties, mansions, and Viktor & Rolf clothing. They never realize that half the benefits involve not doing certain things. You don’t have to park all the way across town. You can stay in a private hotel room instead of having to share a cheap hostel bunk bed with some sweaty Danish backpackers. While I’d love to ball out on the Mikhail S. Vorontsov and wear some gaudy outfits, I’m still blown away by how many small things can be avoided once you start to control your own life.

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.”

– Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

Elliot Rodger and you

I missed  out on Columbine. When it happened I was five years old. I vaguely remember adults being upset about it, but it never really affected me. I was too young.

Since then there have been a mountain of school shootings. Some dude gets mad and goes berserk. Shoots up the whole campus, kills himself, they hold a memorial. It’s like clockwork. No one bats an eye. Back to Tom for the sports recap. Here’s a commercial for soap. Two Broke Girls will be on next.

The recent Elliot Rodger shooting was a little different. It felt more personal to me. The typical shooter doesn’t do stuff I do, he doesn’t live in my world. Anime and Doritos isn’t something I can relate too. This Elliot Rodger guy, he lived in my world. A bizarre mirror of my universe, but it was was close enough to make me think.

Why game is the second creepiest thing in the world

As long time readers will probably know, I’m an advocate of men learning how actually deal with women. Not in some stupid or sleazy manner that involves wearing a fuzzy hat or pretending your name is Brock Steel and you’re a professional lion tamer, but in a way that actually makes you grow as a man. A man who knows how to deal with women isn’t going to throw his friends under the bus to try and impress the waitress at his sports bar and he isn’t going to give up on his goals because “the boss” told him he wasn’t allowed to pursue them.

While a lot of game stuff like PUA is really cheesy and there are tons of game dudes who are bitter and should be avoided at all costs, see the Return of Kings comment section for some real life examples, a lot of the actual advice is worth reading and studying. You can learn way more about physiology, science, and goal setting from a thirty minute RSD video than you could from the majority of psychologists or college professors.

You can call the video above weird or make fun of the dudes in it, but they aren’t doing anything negative. Their whole message is basically just to do your best, have fun, and grow as a man. Feminazis or slipping a girl a roofie are nowhere in the video. The overall message is positive and it’s about putting in work to reap the rewards.

Despite this, stuff like pick up or game, somebody should come up with less dorky terms for this stuff, gets treated like its pure evil. If told a room full of people that you were learning how to get better with women they’d treat you like some kind of child molester. You’d be ostracized in record time.

The mainstream narrative for men is one that lauds being passive. If you are a man you are basically expected to sit around and just hope for good things to fall into your lap. Its like predestination. If you’re fat you got bad genetics. Going to the gym is for douchebags and homosexuals, you should just sit at home. You’re bad with women, sucks to be you. Some people are just born with charisma. A nice girl will fall in your lap eventually. Buying a book about becoming a better conversationalist is for creepy perverts who are probably rapists too.

Taking any kind of action with anything automatically makes you a creepy insecure douchebag. Successful people don’t exercise, talk to women, or have their own business. They wear Khaki pants from Sears and spend their free time watching ESPN.

This argument has always made me mad. It promotes being lazy and rewards people for failure. It also cuts you off from a lot of normal and regular people. Being around old friends or relatives has some weird cloud of tension surrounding it.

After thinking over the whole Elliot Rodger incident I realized something. Going to the gym, developing self-confidence, and working towards something is in fact the second creepiest and weirdest thing that a man can do. The only thing worse is not taking any type of positive action.

Which is creepier:

• Going out with your friend to talk to girls or murdering people?
• Going to the gym or recording thousands of hours of videos where you stew in your own self-loathing.
• Going online and Googling “How to meet women” or making a graph that depicts you murdering people?

A copy of Models obviously would not have stopped Elliot Rodger, arguing that game would have saved lives is a stupid and oversimplified argument. However, it could have helped. Rodger is known to have sat around all day brooding in his own negativity and his rage was encouraged by other members of the ant-game forum that he was involved with. It would be safe to assume that his toxic environment helped, to an extent, in driving him to kill.

The classic mainstream narrative that you should be passive and wait for good things to happen is flawed and dangerous. Eventually people get tired of waiting. They grow frustrated. And without any kind of vision as to what they can do to solve their problem they lash out.

“Maybe, I’ll have to commit some new federal crime every couple of years in order to get my books done!”

– Gary Halbert

Last week the transmission went out on my car. I ended up getting stuck at my house for almost a full week. It was like being in jail. Until Saturday afternoon I didn’t leave my house. It sucked and made me incredibly depressed.

Not being able to go to the gym wrecked my mind worse than anything else I’ve ever experienced. I decided to take the entire year off of doing drugs and it’s been easier for me to handle. Not lifting made me feel fat and want to kill myself.

After sitting around and being depressed for a few days I decided to take action. I looked around and found a book about someone in a situation similar to mine.

The Boron Letters is an interesting collection of essays written by the infamous Gary C. Halbert. For the uninitiated, Halbert was basically the grandfather of selling shady products. He was an Internet marketing guru before the Internet.

Unsurprisingly these tactics landed Halbert is prison for fraud. While there he wrote the The Boron Letters. While Halbert’s normal writing was usually incredibly polished, these works are rough and raw. They reminded me of old Paladin Press books like the Poor Man’s Ray Gun. While it isn’t well written, and there are a lot of typos, the book is still interesting enough to be worth a read. This is one of those reads where a million dollars worth of information has been tucked away into a twenty-dollar paperback. Halbert’s notes from jail are a hundred times more interesting and informative than most of the business books that are currently on the market.

In fact, this book has already paid for itself. While reading it I got so motivated that I actually managed to close a deal earning me an extra $250 every single month. That’s an additional $3,000 this year.

What made The Boron Letters great was the fact that it doesn’t hold any punches. The whole book is filled with actual practical information. Halbert gives clear guidelines as to what you need to do in order to make money:

“When a person first looks at something you have written it should be something that looks inviting to read. Easy-to-read. When he looks at your page of copy he should be drawn to your copy like a convict is to a Penthouse Magazine.Your page of copy (be it letter or space ad) should be laid out in such a manner as to be an attractive “eye treat” for the reader.

This means wide margins, a certain amount of white space, double spacing between paragraphs, short words, short sentences, short paragraphs and an attractive, inviting layout.”

If you want a book that actually teaches you how to make money, check out The Boron Letters. It’s a meaty read that’s packed with all kinds of quality information.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

–  Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I hadn’t gone out since the middle of March. After developing a disgusting case of folliculitis I decided to stay in on the weekends and get more work done. My skin looked gross, so I figured that there was no point in going out anyway.

Instead of socializing, I sat inside and read books or watched movies on the weekend. This wouldn’t have been a big deal if I had a job where I have to talk to people, but I don’t. I was basically a shut in for more than a month.

Now that my skin is healing up, I’ve decided that it’s time for me to be social again. This was easier said than done. Because I was at home for so long, going out and doing stuff with other people actually made me kind of nervous. As dumb as it sounds, I was scared to go and talk to people at bars and clubs. Having not done it in a while I feared that I’d be awkward and weird. I was worried that people would judge me. The thought of being ridiculed was horrifying.

Rather than wallowing in my fear, I decided to take action. I analyzed my emotions and realized that it would be near impossible to convince my brain that nothing bad would happen. In my mind I made up all kinds of excuses about why I had to stay home. I hadn’t had a haircut in a while, I wanted to finish reading a book, I needed a good night’s rest. The rationalizations were endless.

Finally I had enough. I looked at a map, found a city I had never been to, and got in my car. I drove to the downtown area, locked my phone in the vehicle and went into the most crowded club on the block.

Within 15 minutes I was talking to people and having a good time. I made out with a couple girls, I danced to some dubstep song, and I met cool people. Before closing time some random girl I had briefly talked with came over and gave me her number in case I wanted to “hang out” after she drove her friends home. I took her up on the offer.

I could have let my fear consume me. I could have made up excuses about America being full of “feminazis,” or sat inside to make a meme about having social anxiety. Instead I manned up, walked out my door and confronted what was terrifying me. Complaining is for whiners and losers. Weak men sit at home and shriek about how evil and horrible the world is. They can’t bear to face their fears so they amplify them and let them control every aspect of their lives. Men who prattle on about how awful the world is are cowards. Thy know that they are weak, but don’t have the courage to admit it. Instead they have to fabricate grandiose tales to try and convince the rest of the world that their own pitiful existence is some kind of revolutionary and genius one man war against the system.

Whining and complaining is for losers. Anyone who dares to call himself a man must take on what he fears the most. There’s no honor in sitting at the sidelines and lying about why you can’t participate.