“That’s a good weight…for a small woman.”

– Dorian Yates

How you can train to failure

Last week a reader asked me about how you can train to the point of muscle failure.

While I’m not the biggest guy on Earth, and sites like Danger & Play or John Doe Bodybuilding would be more knowledgeable, I decided give my two cents.

With weights I usually lift until I can’t safely do any more reps. After that I might lower the amount that I’m lifting and then keep going. But I’ll usually just call it a day. Doing 20 rep squats or bench will wear you out.

Additionally, I don’t like to put myself in physical danger.

I know a lot of guys who’ve ended up with serious injuries after they let their egos get in the way.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t push myself, or lift heavy weights, but it does mean that I’m not getting into stupid “who can bench the heaviest” contests.

Body weight exercises, which I’ve recently become a fan of, are a whole different creature. I’ll do them until it’s impossible for me to knock out another.

For example, when I do pull-ups I might set a goal to do at least 50.

My first set might be 12.

My second might be 10.

And so on.

Until my final set, which might only be one.

You go until you’re all out of energy and can’t do another rep.

What is training to failure

Training to failure is not doing 9 out of your 10 reps.

That’s a mistake that I used to make all the time when I was starting out.

I’d bench 135 for 8 reps and then declare that I was tired.

Unsurprisingly, I didn’t see any real gains.

It wasn’t until I started working out hard, after reading Super Squats, that I really noticed a change.

Lifting heavy, and lifting a lot, was the cure for my 148 pound physique.

Why I like this method

I’ve tried to lift light weights for a ton of reps.

It didn’t work.

I also tried to lift super heavy weights for one or two reps.

There were no noticeable gains.

When I started working out to the point that I couldn’t do another exercise, and began to eat huge portions, I exploded.

Below I’ve attached a progress picture from October of 2013.

I’d only started lifting at the end of December, and didn’t really know what I was doing until late March.

After six months of serious lifting I was able to completely transform my body.

The year before I could wrap my entire hand around my “biceps.”

Real exercise brought me real results.

Closing thoughts

There are thousands of workouts to choose from.

Different people get different results.

However, I have personally found the most success from performing heavy lifts repeatedly, up until the point that I could no longer do them.

Body weight exercises, like dips and pull-ups, have also helped me to develop my back and triceps.

Coupled with some big meals, training to failure can be the perfect tool for getting in shape and overcoming a poor physique.

“Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”

– Henry David Thoreau

You need to lower your expectations

As a teenager I was really excited to watch this movie called Hobo With A Shotgun.

It looked violent and starred Rutger Hauer, a perfect combination.

I went into the film expecting the best movie ever.

When it turned out to be mediocre, at best, I was disappointed.

The only good thing that came from that experience was a valuable lesson.

Happiness comes from low expectations.

Why you should never expect too much

Being too demanding is one of the easiest ways to become disappointed.

I’ve seen hundreds of men rob themselves of happiness from their unrealistic expectations.

You’ve witnessed it too.

Every January the gym fills up with new members.

By February they’ve all vanished.

People go in and expect that riding an exercise bike or doing bicep curls for 15 minutes will turn them into some peak athlete.

After three weeks they get disheartened and quit.

If you are new don’t have big goals

When I first started going to the gym I had lofty plans. I was going to gain 30 pound of muscle in 30 days and look super defined while having 4% body fat.

Those goals were thrown out the window once I discovered that curling 25 pounds was a challenge.

Girls were lifting more than me.

Rather than getting mad I readjusted my expectations.

Learning proper form and showing up every day became my only goals.

Work towards something that you can actually achieve.

You should have a goal, or something to look forward to, but it shouldn’t be so lofty that you can’t achieve it.

If you’re starting an affiliate site, try to earn $10 for your first month.

Don’t put yourself in competition with some guru and then get upset when you weren’t able to do what he, and the whole team of employees backing him, could.

Right now I’m working on my first full-length book on sales and copywriting.

Is my goal to sell one million copies on day one and make The New York Times Best Sellers list?

Of course not, it’s going to be a learning experience.

I’m going to be as successful as I can be, but I’m not losing sleep if the book isn’t some massive hit.

Ideas for setting realistic goals

The best goal, when you’re new to an activity, is to do that activity for an hour every single day.

Do you want to learn Spanish, but don’t know a thing about it?

Buy some tapes and download Duolingo, it’s free, then spend an hour a a night practicing them.

Do you want to get into shape?

Same thing.

Go to the gym for an hour and then read some books on exercise and nutrition.

At the start of your journey there is going to be a whole ton of stuff that you don’t know about.

Chip away at it.

Within a year you’ll have mastered far more than you’d have imagined and you’ll have done so without being stressed out or feeling pressured.

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”

– Benjamin Franklin

Three activities that you should avoid

I’ve been in an unusually good mood.

Nothing seems to be a problem and I don’t have a worry in the world.

This is pretty strange, so I sat down and tried to figure out what was happening.

While the exact reasons are still a mystery, I did find three major factors that are increasing my happiness.

Surprisingly they’re all things that I’m not doing.

If you want to boost your mood here are three activities that you should avoid:

1. Gossiping

Do you know who spends their time talking about the lives of others?

Boring people with nothing better to do.

While badmouthing someone, when they aren’t around to defend themselves, might sound be fun, it’s a huge waste of time.

Instead of doing something of value, like learning a new language or lifting weights, you’re squandering energy on events that have zero impact on you.

Additionally, what do you think that your “friends,” who mock others behind their backs, are doing when you aren’t around?

2. Competing against others

Competition is a good thing.

Using someone else’s accomplishments as a benchmark for your own goals is a wonderful idea.

Trying to maliciously destroy another person’s achievements is stupid.

Yet lots of people do this.

30 day challenges are nothing new.

Matt Cutts did a whole TED talk about them.

Victor Pride wrote a fantastic book on the subject.

There’s even a 30 day fitness challenge blog that’s really popular.

To stand out I could have easily made some weird website that focused on bashing everyone in the same niche as me.

There are all kinds of negative losers who gravitate towards slanderous articles.

But, to quote Richard Branson, “Some business leaders spend so much time looking over their shoulders at the competition that they lose track of where their own companies are headed.”

Spending all of your time trying to bring someone down will destroy you.

Nothing of value is created and nobody prospers.

3. Associating with negative people

A long time ago I used to pal around with this guy who was a total deadbeat.

If you went out to eat he wouldn’t pitch in a single dime.

The dude wanted something from everyone but wasn’t willing to give back.

For a long time this made me mad.

One day I realized that there was a simple solution. I quit hanging out with him.

There was no drama, I just cut the cord and moved on.

Negative people will drain your energy.

They have no redeeming qualities.

Instead of putting up with them, do them a favor and stop facilitating their poor behavior.

You’ll be a lot happier.

Other thoughts

Most of man’s misery comes from constantly exposing himself to things he doesn’t like.

Look at how many people say stuff like “I get so stressed out when I’m around so-and-so.”

Unless the person who’s causing you stress is your Siamese twin don’t hang around them.

In a world of life-hacks and “one weird tricks,” it is important to remember that what you don’t do can be just as important to your well-being.

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”

– George Carlin

Self-help books don’t work

A few people have sent me emails asking if I’ve read various business and self-help books.

The answer is almost always “No.”

Aside from a few books on copywriting and marketing I haven’t read much recently.

I brought What To Say When You Talk To Your Self on my trip, but I haven’t even opened it yet.

While I used to be huge into self-help and entrepreneurial culture, my interest has really dwindled.

I’m not going to say that self-help books don’t work, they can be effective, but you should never treat them as gospel.

The cult of self-help

There are a lot of linear subjects that people struggle with.

Saving money is one of these.

If you want to reduce your expenses you can read a book like The Total Money Makeover or Bachelor Pad Economics. I like both of them and think they’re incredibly useful.

You can take a seat, read through each one, and have all the information that you need.

Yet a lot of people use their new found knowledge as a way to avoid responsibilities.

“These books were good, so I need to read 15 more before I can tackle my debt.”

Instead of solving the problem, they join message boards and get wrapped up in the community that surrounds a particular issue.

The issue is never resolved, taking a backseat to their quest to B.S. with other do nothings.

Places like the Warrior Forum are bogged down with wantrepreneurs who have thousands of posts on business and zero real life experience to back it up.

Unrealistic expectations force you towards worthless goals

Back in late 2012, or maybe it was early 2013, I read Good to Great.

The book has some useful lessons and quality information, but it actually made me feel awful about myself and reduced the quality of my life.

In it there’s a story about a man who was super loyal to some farm implement manufacturer that he worked for.

He was always on the job early and left after everyone else.

When he was about 19, I think he’d worked at the place since high school, there was an accident that caused him to lose a finger.

Instead of going to the hospital or taking time off, he finished his shift and even came in early the next morning.

Eventually all of his hard work paid off and he was promoted to CEO.

This story always made me feel lazy.

I didn’t really like my job and just wanted to spend my time writing and traveling.

Yet this stupid story made be beat myself up over my disinterest.

I’d try and do extra work and take on more responsibilities, but it caused me to feel worse.

Looking back the book’s story was incredibly stupid, and reads like the tale of Soviet laborer Alexey Stakhanov, but it made me convinced that I had to be just like this unstoppable corporate cog.

Being inspired by someone is great and everyone needs heroes.

However, trying emulate a person who shouldn’t be looked up to, like a guy who sacrificed his finger so that a company didn’t have to give him vacation time, isn’t a particularly good idea.

Self-help books that work

Not every book about improving yourself is a scam or useless.

Most of them are even pretty good.

As long as you actually follow the advice, and make distinctions between what will work for you and what won’t, self-help can be a powerful tool.

My personal favorites are the classics. Books written by men who actually knew what they were talking about. Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, stuff like that.

How to Get Rich is another great book because it shows you both the advantages and disadvantages of success.

I’d personally recommend that men avoid products like The Secret or conventional dating books.

My all time favorite self-help, if you can call it that, book is Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder. It’s easily the most inspirational book that I’ve ever read.

I dare you to pick it up and not feel motivated. Say what you will about Arnold, his newer book kind of sucks, but the man had drive and knew how to go places.

If you have a book that you’d like to recommend, let me know in the comments section. I’d love to check it out.

“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.”

– Julia Child

Grocery shopping for men

Most people cannot cook.

I don’t mean that in some pretentious manner either, I’m being literal. The average Millennial would have a hard time making scrambled eggs.

Look in a friend’s fridge. It’s almost all prepackaged food.

Cooking is a great way to save money while eating healthy.

You don’t have to be Bobby Flay to eat well.

I just got back from the supermarket a few minutes ago and am loaded up with all kinds of goodies.

And my total bill was less than $20.

Shopping basics

There are a few things that I always like to keep on hand. Here is a brief inventory of them:

• Ground beef
• Fruit
• Nuts
• Milk
• Oatmeal
• Yogurt
• Juice
• Eggs

That probably looks like it would be an expensive shopping list. And it would be if you weren’t smart about it. Yogurt and juice along can cost way more than $20.

Capitalize off of discounts

Yogurt goes bad quickly. Most grocery stores would rather sell it than have to throw expired cartons in the trash.

Because of this they often sell nearly expired yogurt at dirt cheap prices.

When you go shopping look for yogurt that’s on sale. You’ll be amazed at the cost.

In Iowa I could get single serving containers for $0.25 a piece.

Being dumb I’d only pick up one or two.

Then I realized that I wasn’t taking advantage of the situation.

Instead of buying a dollar’s worth, I’d invest $25 and have yogurt for weeks.

When there’s a sale take full advantage.

If you are afraid of the product expiring before you use it, there’s an easy solution.

Use your freezer

Buying all the discount yogurt seems a little wasteful.

You can’t eat that much in less than a week.

And that’s true.

Whatever I wasn’t going to have right away went in the freezer. It was safely preserved until I wanted it again.

Stock up when there’s a sale. Then stash some of your food in the freezer for later.

There was a recent discount on chicken. I loaded up and froze it for later.

Doing something like this will save you a ton of money.

Bonus: Three really easy meals any man can make

I know plenty of college kids who always whine about their lack of a kitchen.

Without a stove they are condemned to eating pizza puffs and Ramen noodles.

That’s false.

There are all kinds of meals that you can easily prepare with nothing but a microwave.

Below I’ve listed three simple recipes, two of which can be made in any dorm room across the nation.

Southwest omelet

Buy a hot pepper, tasty salsa, and some eggs.

Chop up the pepper and scramble the eggs.

Add them together and cook them on a stove.

Once cooked, pour salsa on top.

This is one of the easiest breakfasts in the world and it’s full of protein. Instead of eating cereal or some prepackaged breakfast bar, spend five minutes preparing this.

Proatmeal

You can pretty much make this meal anywhere.

As long as you have hot water, peanut butter, and oatmeal you’re good.

Heat up your oatmeal like you normally would and then add peanut butter.

If you want more nutrients substitute the peanut butter with protein powder.

This is a good post-workout meal and is simple enough that it can be prepared with nothing more than a microwave.

Hamburgers

I feel like an idiot typing this out. However, there are a lot of guys who seem to forget about inexpensive sources of protein like ground beef. Frying up a pound of burger patties is a lot cheaper, and healthier, than going out to eat.

What I love about hamburgers is the fact that you can cook them in the microwave.

This is great if you live in a college dorm since it spares you from having to eat nothing but carb filled snacks.

Slap some patties together and cook them until they are no longer pink. Extra points if you fry up a couple of eggs to eat with them.

There’s no reason you shouldn’t cook

None of the meals that I listed above take any talent to prepare.

A child could make them.

It always amazes me when guys complain about having to eat bad food, or that there’s no way for them to eat healthy.

An apple, yogurt, burger patty, and some milk is a pretty cheap dinner and it costs nothing to make.