“Losing can persuade you to change what doesn’t need to be changed, and winning can convince you everything is fine even if you are on the brink of disaster. “

– Garry Kasparov

Over winter break I wanted to get good at Chess. I watched YouTube videos about different strategies, bought books on historical games, and stayed up late reading about Chess theory. After a few weeks I knew all the basic moves.

I was ready to play.

During my first game I made a blatant error that cost me my queen. I lost shortly afterwards.

My second game didn’t go much better. While I did manage to avoid some of the mistakes I had previously made, I still got beat.

The third, fourth, five, sixth, and seventh games all went equally as badly. I’d unwittingly do something stupid and set myself up for defeat.

It took sixteen games before I finally beat an opponent. It took me another five before I learned a valuable lesson: all the training in the world is no match for field experience.

I learned more about Chess from an afternoon of playing it than I had from weeks of study. There is no substitute for real experience. You could spend 10,000 hours reading about Chess tactics, and you’d still lose to a guy who’s spent a fraction of that time actually playing the game.

The same principle applies to business. Skimming Good to Great isn’t the same as starting a company. A book won’t make you stress out, you can’t fail at reading, and text isn’t going to try and screw you out of something. Real life, on the other hand, will do all those.

“Haters gonna hate.”

– The Internet

Today’s post isn’t about marketing, sales, or publicity; it’s about content. Despite writing several posts on how one should promote their work, I’ve never explained what a good product actually is. After all, a turd sandwich being sold by Ryan Holiday is still just a turd sandwich.

A good product provides people with something meaningful. Whether that means getting folks into shape, introducing the world to a new idea, or helping some dude get his life in order; quality work always gives back.

With that said, I want to tell a little story about a man who ignored this rule….

David Futrelle is a blogger who runs a site called Manboobz. His shtick is to find “sexist,” “misogynistic,” and “racist” material from around the web and make fun of it. The alleged goal, to protect women from being raped and oppressed. On paper this is a fantastic idea, Futrelle could use his platform to raise awareness about all sorts of anti-woman crimes being perpetrated around the world. The last time I checked India is having an actual epidemic of rape, and Islamic women still aren’t allowed any rights. If he played his cards right Futrelle could be a modern day civil rights hero, bringing equality to everyone.

Unfortunately that takes work. Instead of doing anything meaningful, Futrelle uses his blog to troll Redditors and male oriented websites. Essentially he simply finds something “offensive,” like women in the kitchen and “that’s what she said” jokes, and mocks them. If he’s really lucky, a site like Return of Kings or Matt Forney might publish something that’s “practically a rape manual!”*

Unsurprisingly, Mr. Futrelle’s “writings” have left him dead broke. Because he’s not contributing anything of actual substance, no one is willing to pay for his work.**

Luckily that’s about to change. Being a generous capitalist, I’ve devised a way that Futrelle can help the world and profit from his convictions.

1. Write about something real.

America is not one Max Alpha post away from revoking women’s suffrage. However, there are still millions of women around the world who are being tortured, raped, abused, oppressed, and sold into sex slavery. Exposing these atrocities would do far more good than making fun of some random blogger ever will.

2. Contribute to charity.

Futrelle should put a donate button on the bottom of each post and give the money to a battered women’s shelter. He could also plan out some pledge drives for the site and donate that money as well. Considering how familiar Futrelle is with Reddit, he would have no problem drumming up some willing participants. I’ll bet that even the “sexists” would kick in a few bucks to support a good cause.

3. Write a book and do a speaking circuit.

If Futrelle wrote something with actual substance, I’d read it. If he spoke without descending into snarky drivel, I’d at least hear him out. Assuming that he did some research and wrote intelligently about actual sexism and female oppression, like the kind practiced by the Islamic community, he could author something profound.

Sadly, Mr. Futrelle will more than likely continue down the path of least resistance. He’ll produce more meaningless fluff, live in poverty, and prevent himself from giving back to society.

* i.e. a mildly crude sex story.

** I know that in the past he’s written for Time and Salon, but he hasn’t been published in either for like six months now. Also he claimed to be out of money on his site, I did the research.

“Clicks random link… Goatse.”

– Bad Luck Brian

A few nights ago I went on a variety of websites and posted comments that all contained links to shock sites.

While you are probably imagining that my actions were done solely for the purpose of trolling, they were actually key components in an elaborate scientific experiment.

My hypothesis: Almost no one ever clicks on anything in the comment section.

My test: Post normal comments that contained hyperlinked text leading to various explicit websites. If no one banned me, the link had obviously not been clicked.

Process: I commented on Reddit, several blogs I dislike, and on a few other places.

Results: I got in trouble a whooping zero times.

Conclusion: Not many people read the comments section on blogs, or scroll through entire forum threads. Unless you’re the top commenter or have something very insightful to say, your post will go almost unnoticed.

From personal experience I get better response rates from linking articles on Twitter or directly emailing website administrators than I do from commenting on other people’s work.

P.S. I actually check out every link that appears on my site. If you’re an up and coming blogger, feel free to post a message.

“Give me a dollar and I will teach you how to make a dollar.”

– Old saying

Today’s post is an excerpt from my unfinished Kindle project, How To Make Thirty-One Cents A Day From Blogging. The book is a satirical mockery of the get rich quick genre, and acts as a sort of “how-not-to” guide for young bloggers.

The following advice comes from the summary page at the end of a chapter entitles “The Big Cents.” I hope you enjoy it:

Cheat Sheet: The Big Cents

• Google Ads

If there’s one thing that everyone is always guaranteed to click on, it’s a stock photograph of teeth with the words “dental secrets the professionals don’t want you to know” superimposed on it. I can’t tell you how many thousands of times clicked that link. Bonus points for slathering your webpage in various Google ads.

• Out of place Product placement

Ignore your blog’s target audience and write posts endorsing whatever items will give you the biggest sales commission. Make a post about steak knives and publish it on your site about retro video games. 20 -year-old gamers are always on the lookout for new stainless steel kitchenware. Post an endorsement for “Lusty Sailors 5” on your blog about raising Golden Retrievers. After all, dog owners are the largest consumers of nautical themed gay porn. It doesn’t matter who the audience is, they’ll automatically love whatever you do.

• Obnoxious donation requests

At the beginning, middle, and end of each post you should include a donate button. Random Internet strangers are known for throwing money around like rappers at a strip club. Most of them will probably donate at every chance they see. Also, be sure to include a statement about being poor in ever single post. Readers have bad memories and will otherwise forget.

If you follow these simple steps, I guarantee that you’ll be seeing the big cents roll in within no time.*

*By which I mean years.

“F*ck them is what I say. I hate those eBooks. They can not be the future. They may well be. I will be dead. I won’t give a sh*t.”

– Maurice Sendak

Although I call my eBook venture “trashy,” I actually like it.

When I launched the project, I thought I’d just produce a cheap product for the sole purpose of generating income. However, my orientation soon changed. I wrote about content that I had an interest in, making me become very passionate about the material.

If you’re only motivation to do something is a monetary one, you’ll probably fail.

In the past I tried starting a soap company. I had no interest in the product, but I thought I could get rich off it. I ended up selling nothing. Whenever I’d sit down to read my book on making soap, I’d get bored and go watch Family Guy. No soap was made and thus no soap was sold, I didn’t have enough of a passion for it.

While my eBook isn’t going to win any awards, it’s still something that I like doing. It’s low brow in the same way that comic books are when compared to literature. Content wise it’s fine.

I’m not selling snake oil, I didn’t data mine some forum, and I didn’t outsource my writing to some schmuck in India. The eBook I’ve written was written honestly, marketed honestly,* and is perfectly acceptable.

Have a great weekend,

Robert Koch

* With one exception that I’ll post about later.