“More announcements forthcoming about where you’ll be able to read me! I am not disappearing. Also I’ll forever be yelling on Twitter.”

– Lindy West

Why Lindy West will go broke and fall into obscurity

Lindy West, full-time writer for Jezebel and runner-up in the annual Michelin Tire Man look-alike contest, is resigning from her paid writing position. After a lucrative career containing plenty of hard-hitting stories, like making fun of Victor Pride, Lindy has turned her gaze towards sweeter opportunities.

She’s starting a free Tumblr blog and begging for others to hire her.

No, really. The best that this strong independent woman could do was stick her hand out and write on a platform that people use to share erotic fan fiction about My Little Pony dolls. That’s pretty pathetic if you ask me.

I’m 21 and somehow manage to afford my own website, and do it without ever asking readers for a dime. In fact, I just finished editing a reader’s book free of charge because I thought he had a good product on his hands. That’s significantly more generous than anything I could ever find this social justice warrior managing to do.

How to avoid Lindy’s fate

Lindy West, like her lard loving pal David Futrelle, built a career around providing idiots with mindless trash that ridicules the labors of others. An article about doing something like building up a blog, or increasing your brain power has longevity. An article about “12 things dudebros need to stop mansplaining” is relevant for about 30 seconds.

As my old English teacher would have said, “It’s entertainment today and in the landfill tomorrow.”

If you look at the situation that Lindy’s in it is easy to see why she will fail with all future endeavors.

• Building a house atop rented ground

Do you know who lives on rented property? Peasants.

The lord of the realm lets them toil upon his ground in exchange for goods or services.

Lindy doesn’t own Tumblr. She rents a piece of it. If the man who created Tumblr wanted to throw her off his creation he could.

Unless you own your own site you are always at the mercy of someone else.

• Cheap thrills

Jezebel exists because frumpy middle-aged women, with no future, need something to relieve the boredom of their tedious corporate job. That’s it. There’s nothing insightful going on over there. It’s a trashy site with disposable articles about nothing. Junk food for your brain.

Unless you want to bring out the tin can every month and grovel for some cash you need to be able to provide articles of value.

• No product

To put it mildly, Lindy West is a stay at home office drone. One who has a little fame and a steady paycheck, until now, but she’s still just a slave. Unless Nick Denton is throwing her cash she’s not earning anything.

What are people going to pay her for, complaining?

Apparently she has a book, co-written by men, that Confessions of an Online Hustler is outselling.

The reason for this? Matt’s book is actually useful. Lindy’s is just a pile of steaming snark.

Would you rather learn to run a successful business, or discover “Everything there is to know about philosophy (in a single paragraph!).”

I thought so.

People aren’t morons. They crave value. If you don’t give it to them you might as well slink off in defeat.

Closing thoughts

Lindy West is a great example of what not to do as a professional writer. I look forward to checking in on her “exciting new career” in about two months so that I can say “I told you so!”

“If you are only doing what you are getting paid for, and doing it no better than the average employee, then your pay is most likely right where it should be.”

– Bo Bennett

Are you a stay at home office drone?

Most people try to make working from home into their end goal. They are idiots.

But it’s okay because I was an idiot too.

When you make “location independence” your only goal you forget to set your sights any further.

Pretty soon you start to drift into a routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, start working, eat lunch, get back to work, log out for the evening, eat dinner, go to sleep, repeat.

That sounds a lot like a regular 9-to-5 job, doesn’t it?

If you aren’t careful you can end up enslaved to “The Man” all over again. The only difference is that you get to toil away in your sweatpants instead of some khakis.

Signs that you are a stay at home office drone

The only way that you can escape working for someone else is by realizing that you’re still an employee. This is something that took me a long time to figure out and most people never realize it. I like freelancing, but there are some serious limitations to it. While it pays well, you’re still just trading your time and creativity to make someone else rich.

Here are the tells to help you determine whether or not you are an actual entrepreneur. If you answer yes to any of these, you’re still just an employee.

• You have a boss who tells you what to do

One time I worked for a client who would email me every half an hour with a countdown to the deadline of his project. “18 hours and 30 minutes left…”

If somebody is always breathing down your neck you aren’t in charge of anything.

• There’s a limit on how much you can earn

I spent less than an hour a day, over the course of a month, making Amazon For A Penny. It hasn’t been touched since then. Despite this I’ll make a couple hundred bucks from it this year.

This isn’t awesome and I’m not going to retire from my earnings, but the money is virtually free. I’m even planning on using some of the profits towards buying a new theme for this site.

When you work for someone else you don’t get free money. They control how much you are paid. Barring a few employers, a lot of clients are tightwads. I’ve even had people disappear without ever paying a dime.

Being the boss you get exactly what you put in. This week I’ve been logging serious hours into my site. The result? Traffic has already doubled compared to what I usually get. And we’re only halfway through the week.

With great responsibility comes great power. Being in charge of everything kind of sucks. It is also incredibly rewarding. Seeing your vision grow is a lot more fun than writing articles about doughnut shops.

Additionally there is no ceiling on your potential. When you sign a contract for $16 an hour you make $16 an hour. When you craft your own content you can earn whatever you’re willing to work for.

• Your free time isn’t actually free

Earlier in this post I mentioned a client who always gave me “the countdown.” That guy sucked. Not just because he was irritating, but because he reminded me that my time wasn’t my own.

Whenever I was away from my computer someone would inevitably want to talk. When I’d go out to dinner or visit a friend my inbox would slowly fill up with messages.

When I had a regular job I had more down time than I did as a freelance writer. Once Friday afternoon rolled around the boss was gone. With article writing you have to be on call almost all the time.

Who do you want to be?

Next time you’re working on a project ask yourself this simple question: “How will my actions benefit me a year from now?” When you work for someone else the answer is, usually, that they won’t. Getting $30 to write an article about hemorrhoid cream has no longevity. Unless you invested in some stocks or won the lottery with that money, there are no further returns.

If you can write successful eBooks and make compelling blogs for other people, why couldn’t you do so on your own? This is something that I never really thought of until recently, but it’s an excellent question.

If you can sit down and write a post that makes someone else money, there’s no reason that you couldn’t take those same talents and use them to invest in yourself.

“I was a nerd growing up, and I’m a little antisocial and awkward.”

– Louis C. K.

Can you be a successful entrepreneur if you are socially awkward?

I have severe social anxiety. Basic tasks like talking to people and being in crowded environments are incredibly stressful for me. Things that normal people find relaxing, like going to house parties, make me tense. Even simple stuff like answering emails and replying to comments makes me nervous.

Moving to a foreign country caused me zero worry. Yet going to the mall is stressful. I naturally don’t like being in a crowd. With that said, most people are completely unaware of this. If we hung out for an afternoon I’d probably seem like a completely normal dude. I can hold conversations, make jokes, attend parties, and go on dates. Even if social interactions bother me I’m still able to keep it together.

Because of the fact that I suffer from social anxiety, and run a business that requires me to interact with people, I’ve decided to share some tips for introverted entrepreneurs:

“Life is not fair, get used to it”

A lot of people make their shortcomings into their whole identity. They turn themselves into some kind of victim and use this as an excuses for being miserable. Losers like neckbeards and social justice warriors victimize themselves. Winners don’t let some minor setback prevent them from reaching goals.

People have crash landed airplanes. You can answer a phone call.

I’d love to tell you that there’s some cool trick to overcoming social anxiety. But I’d be lying.

You’re going to have to be a little uncomfortable if you want to get anywhere.

To put it more bluntly, you need to have some balls just to cross the threshold of success. Otherwise you’re stuck on the side with all the whiners and losers.

Set your frame

Here’s a trick I learned as a teenager. If you’re going to go out and do something that isn’t particularly fun, set a deadline. Are you going to a house party but would rather stay in and read a book?

Easy.

Just tell everyone that you have to leave early. You still went out like everyone wanted but you also met your own needs.

I use this exact same technique now.

If the client wants to talk on the phone I have 30 minutes. There’s always a deadline in place.

This keeps things from getting out of control, some clients can hit you up 50 times a day if you aren’t careful, and still lets them discuss the project with me.

Own your awkwardness

The first time that Larry King ever went on the air he told the audience that he was nervous. 65 years and $144 million dollars later that decision doesn’t seem to have hurt him.

Business is a strange creature.

While you have to be confident, you also have to be friendly and personable.

I wouldn’t recommend pitching your client with a line like “I am a socially inept guy who will have a panic attack halfway through this assignment,” but you can be a little more open about your weaknesses.

One time I was Skyping with a potential client when I realized that I’d been making weird hand gestures during the conversation. Saying something along the lines of “Sorry, if my hands were distracting. I get a little nervous on camera” defused the whole situation. Everyone laughed and I ended up with the job.

Don’t boast about your flaws, but acknowledging them can be a good idea sometimes.

Lift weights

I’ll be the first to admit that, in the world of self-improvement, exercising is really played out. Depressed? Hit the gym. You’re girlfriend broke up with you? Bench press that mid-sized sedan.

I love lifting and workout seven days a week. However, pumping iron is not going to make all your problems go away. It will give you something else to think about though. The pain of sending out emails asking clients to pay their bills is minuscule compared to what you’ll experience in the gym.

The other morning I did 50 pull-ups. Getting home I saw that there were some clients to talk with. I was too sore and tired to be anxious when dealing with them.

Exercising will teach you some discipline and get you out of your head. You learn how to build a routine and do something even when you don’t want to. Physical fitness has also really helped my to have better control of my body language. When I Skype with clients I’m able to look more confident and composed, even if I’m secretly terrified.

Develop some canned jokes

I picked up a great piece of advice from porn legend Ron Jeremy, memorize at least one witty response for questions that you frequently get asked.

This can help you from being caught off guard and it prevents you from having to stutter and mumble as you collect your thoughts.

You’re response doesn’t even have to be elaborate or even funny. When clients ask where I’m from, this is a subtle question they use to make sure you can actually write in English, I say “The great state of Iowa.” The client gets a response and you don’t have to spend additional time thinking up an answer.

Preparing ahead of time can help you out a lot. Even if you are nervous a few rehearsed lines of dialogue can make you appear to be more confident.

A few other thoughts

Unless you’re operating a hot dog stand most of your entrepreneurial work time is going to be antisocial. Writing a blog post eats up more time than responding to comments does. Most of the day is spent by yourself as you type up proposals and create new content.

When you run a venture you get the luxury of not having to deal with as many people as the average office drone would. In about a week I’m going to drop a post that elaborates on this, but I’ll explain it a little bit here. If you’re the employee of a company you have to go to all kinds of meetings, training seminars, and other stupid events. If you’re the boss you can simply make a decision without having to worry about giving anyone a PowerPoint presentation on the matter.

The only thing you need to take away from this

Things like having a prepared response to common questions or going to the gym are both great. But they’re secondary to your mindset. Henry Ford said it best:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

If you’re to awkward for success you’re right. If being introverted is just a minor inconvenience that you can overcome you’re right too.

Did you know that I worry every time I publish a new post? Someone might hate it or the idea I had will sound stupid. There are a lot of possibilities for disaster.

Instead of focusing on those fears, most of which are pretty irrational by the way, I look for good things. Site traffic has consistently gone up. Posts are sometimes shared on Reddit. And I’ve gotten to meet some cool people.

Whatever you’re worrying about is usually not that big of a deal. I’ve screwed up with jobs before and am still alive. I might have given the client a discount or done some re-writes, but it was never the end of the world.

Focus on what you can gain.

“You’ve got a song you’re singing from your gut, you want that audience to feel it in their gut. And you’ve got to make them think that you’re one of them sitting out there with them too. They’ve got to be able to relate to what you’re doing.”

– Johnny Cash

I will show you how to build a massive blog audience

I haven’t done much with this site all year. I don’t even check that stats on most days. That’s why it was surprising to learn that my site traffic has continued to grow since 2013. I was also shocked to discover that a lot of posts have been linked and shared in places that I wouldn’t have expected. Despite that fact that I wrote far fewer articles than I did last year, I’ve gotten more traffic and my content has been spread out to a lot of different locations.

While I can’t call 30 Days To X huge, guys like Danger & Play and Matt Forney are a million times bigger, I have done pretty well for myself without really putting in any effort. I haven’t actively promoted the site and don’t have a set schedule for new material. Looking over my stats, yearly revenue, and Twitter followers I’ve realized that things are going pretty well for a project that I put less than three hours a week into. Working on this site is something I do for maybe 45 minutes a day twice a week.

What I plan to do now (and why you should care)

This month I’m going to treat the site like an actual job and see how big I can make it over the next 30 days. This isn’t something where I’m going to just hire someone off of Fiverr to spam links either, I’m actually going to sit down and make some major changes around here.

Over the course of the next month you’re going to see a whole host of new features and modifications.

By now you’re probably wondering why this challenge should concern you. The reason for that is simple. Every single day, even on the weekend, I’ll be keeping you posted with how different decisions have effected the site and how you can use this information to boost your own blog’s traffic.

The information that you’re about to get isn’t cheesy or generic either. It’s stuff that took me a long time to figure out. Yesterday’s post contained information that I had to learn through experience and through reading books like The Boron Letters, The Ultimate Marketing Plan, and The Copywriter’s Handbook. You got more than a year’s worth of my professional insights and information from $30 worth of books for 10 minutes of your time. A pretty good deal if you ask me.

Just a few things that you’ll get out of this month’s challenge

I’m not going to spoil any surprises, but I will tell you that there’s going to be some great stuff coming up. If you tune in tomorrow I’m going to discuss business strategies for socially awkward entrepreneurs. Later I’m going to talk about a huge pitfall that I made while freelancing. And after that I’ll spill some secrets on crafting irresistible headlines that drum up a lot of traffic.

Also I’m going to be giving away free prizes and other good stuff.

If you’ve ever had any interest in making money online, gaining new blog readers, or finding lucrative side hustles this month is going to be right up your alley. It’s going to be a lot of fun to share this information and I think you’ll get a lot out of it.