“Despite all my mistakes and all the obstacles thrown in my direction, I made it to the West Coast. It was treacherous at points, but it was also exciting and exhilarating at others. Even with all the pain I went through, I wouldn’t trade my experience for the world.”

– Matt Forney

Before reading The Hitchhiking Crash Course: How to Travel the World and Meet Cool People, by Matt Forney, I knew nothing about hitchhiking. As a child I was taught that thumbing a ride was dangerous and illegal, so I never even bothered trying it. In fact, my only exposure to hitchhiking came from television. As a result, I believed that everyone who tried bumming a ride ended up being raped and murdered by sadistic hobos.

Fortunately, The Hitchhiking Crash Course cured my ignorance. From the very introduction I was learning tons of valuable information, one of the most interesting facts being:

“The claim that hitchhiking is dangerous (to the hitcher and the driver) is completely bogus. It was invented by the FBI in the late 1950’s as a means of cracking down on beatniks, hippies and other countercultural groups. The only agency to actually study the subject, the California Highway Patrol, found in 1974 that hitchhiking was a factor in a whopping 0.63 percent of crimes in the state. You have a better chance of being killed in a car crash than killed because you were hitchhiking.”

This is a comprehensive guide that covers everything from what to pack, to dealing with police, to etiquette when getting a ride from strangers. While some of the material is a little obvious (bring a sturdy backpack, don’t dress like an axe murderer), it’s outweighed by the helpful advice that I would never have even considered (like the fact that cities are the worst place to score a ride). The book’s section on dealing with law enforcement is especially useful and is a mandatory read for anyone who finds themselves dealing with police:

“There are still honest men carrying the badge, who truly want to fight crime and protect the innocent. If you go into every police encounter assuming the worst, you’re going to get it. On the other hand, if you approach cops with an open mind, you’re far more likely to get a helping hand, or at least not be punished.”

The Hitchhiking Crash Course is on sale from now until Sunday. If you plan on doing any kind of travel this summer I’d recommend picking up a copy. The book’s content is as interesting as it is useful, and has plenty of information that’s applicable to any type of adventurer.

“Barbarism is the natural state of mankind, civilization is unnatural. It is a whim of circumstance. And barbarism must always ultimately triumph.”

– Robert E. Howard, The Conquering Sword of Conan

I have no shame in admitting that Robert E. Howard is one of my all time favorite authors. Even if you’re unfamiliar with his works, you probably already know quite a few of his characters like Conan the Barbarian and Red Sonja.

Within The Robert E. Howard Omnibus you’ll find a variety that runs the gambit from cosmic horror, to sports, to fantasy; and often within the same story. One of my favorite tales from this collection was Almuric, a story that reads like a fusion between Minecraft and the Paleo Diet.

One of Howard’s strengths was that, unlike contemporary fiction writers, he celebrated the the power and raw savagery associated with masculinity. These are old fashion tales of men being men. In the era of skinny jeans and effeminate hipsters, these stories are a much welcomed relief.

Writing wise, I think Howard had tremendous talent. Unlike most pulp writers of his time, Howard was able to convey excitement and energy without falling back on hyperbole. Take his description of this thieves den from The Tower of the Elephant:

“Torches flared murkily on the revels in the Maul, where the thieves of the east held carnival by night. In the Maul they could carouse and roar as they liked, for honest people shunned the quarter, and watchmen, well paid with stained coins, did not interfere with their sport. Along the crooked, unpaved streets with their heaps of refuse and sloppy puddles, drunken roisterers staggered, roaring. Steel glinted in the shadows where wolf preyed on wolf, and from the darkness rose the shrill laughter of women, and the sounds of scufflings and stragglings. Torchlight licked luridly from broken windows and wide-thrown doors, and out of these doors, stale smells of wine and rank sweaty bodies, clamor of drinking jacks and fists hammered on rough tables, snatches of obscene songs, rushed like a blow in the face.”

It’s easy to forget that this quality of writing was appearing in magazines like this:

My only complaint with this collection is that it gets redundant. Like most anthologies, the reader tires of the subject matter before the book is over. As such, reading one or two stories a week would be more than sufficient. There are also a few racial slurs, Howard wrote during the 1930’s, that some might find inappropriate. Nothing said is too offensive, and I don’t think anyone’s life will be ruined by derogatory terms that infrequently surface.

If you’re looking for some inexpensive entertainment this weekend, you could do a lot worse than picking up a copy of The Robert E. Howard Omnibus. For the two dollar price tag, this collection is a great way to get acquainted with Howard’s life work.

“Ah, yes, of course. Travel to a country and have an authentic cultural experience, while forcing another nation’s language down its throat.”

– English Teacher X, Guide To Teaching English Abroad

Like every other college kid in America, I always imaged that teaching English in a foreign country would be the best job ever. You only have to work 30 hours a week, and you have a whole bunch of free time to go exploring. In all honesty, I’ve considered switching to an Education Major just so that I could have this type of job. Fortunately, I sat down and read English Teacher X’s Guide To Teaching English Abroad, before I marched off to the admissions office.

As it turns out, teaching English overseas isn’t all Thai food and surfing; it’s actually a pretty brutal job. In one of the first sections of the book, X dispels the romanticized image of the English teacher: 

“Step away from that old office grind, the old nine-to-five prison. The new car, the new washer-dryer combo, the new computer every three years. The gilded cage of life in the West.

Yes indeed! Leave all that behind! Step into a world where you’re living in a cruddy run-down flat shared with another person! Where you rarely have a steady supply of hot water! Where you can’t afford nice clothes, a car, OR a computer! Where you wash your clothes in the bathtub.

Hey, but at least you’re not working nine to five!”

While the first few sections of Guide To Teaching English Abroad are a bit discouraging, they were still highly entertaining. At one point X makes a hilarious case for why being a pirate is more rewarding than teaching English, and his argument actually had me roaring in laughter.

After doing his best to warn off potential English teacher’s, X uses the rest of the book to convey some incredibly useful information on teaching English abroad. This material runs the gambit from explaining the various types of teaching certificates and their benefits, to a guide entitled “Activities that suck and what to do about them.”

Though it would be easy for a book like this to slip into the realm of mundane instructional manual, Guide To Teaching English Abroad has a lot of humor injected into it. For example, when explaining how to properly introduce yourself to a class, X provides the following advice:

“Try this: Get some dice. Write on the board

1) What

2) Where

3) Who

4) Why

5) When

6) How

Students roll the dice, then ask you a question with the proper question word. For example, student rolls a 2 – ‘Where’ – and asks the teacher ‘Where is your favorite strip club?'”

If you’re interested in teaching, public speaking, or travel; I suggest you pick up Guide To Teaching English Abroad. It’s a deep, honest, educational, and interesting read. Even if you aren’t planning on traveling overseas to teach, this book has some great information on interacting and communicating with others.

As I’ve mentioned before, English Teacher X is running a special $2.99 special on all of his Kindle books. Be sure to also check out To Travel Hopelessly and Vodkaberg.