“If, and only if, you are a masochist and feel like pain and torture, should you open a feminist.”

– Robert Donlak, Donlak’s Guide to Girls

While listening to a recent episode of Manosphere Radio I discovered a blogger I’d previously been unaware of, Robert Donlak runs a really cool site called Paradigm Shift. Having made some extra money off Fiverr this week, I decided to splurge and buy a copy of his book Donlak’s Guide to Girls. It was a great decision.

First off, this book is hilarious. Donlak writes in a very satirical style that’s both informative and genuinely amusing. There were numerous paragraphs that actually made me burst out in laughter. Although the humor is snarky and sarcastic it’s also smartly written, reminding me a lot of Matt Groening’s Love Is Hell. Additionaly, I could relate to a lot of the author’s insights, making his jokes that much funnier. For instance, he’s description of seducing a party girl is dead on:

“Hooking up with a party girl is a lot trickier than you think, and yet it’s as simple as a Zen monk meditating on lotus petals. See you don’t actually hook the party girl, other than by having fun. Do some coke, do some shots with her, dance, keep the fun going, talk to her friends, etc.”

My only complaint with this book is it’s length, Donlak’s Guide to Girls just kind of ends. It would have been nice if there was some kind of conclusion that tied everything together. Otherwise, I thought the book was a fun little read with a great sense of humor.

If you’re a young guy caught up in the dating scene I recommend checking out Donlak’s Guide to Girls.

“Conquest, war, death, hunger, or disease – any of the horsemen will do.”

– Jack Donovan

Typically I avoid reading books on masculinity. Most writings about manhood are either written by postmenopausal feminists, or authored by clueless herbs who consider hiding in a man cave and watching porn to be some kind of high-level male achievement.

Having disliked every previous book on manhood that I’d ever read, I was a little wary about reading Jack Donovan’s The Way of Men. I’d heard great things about it, but I was still a bit skeptical. Fortunately, I followed a link from Viva La Manosphere! to Donovan’s blog. After reading half a dozen posts, I decided to check out The Way of Men.

I was not disappointed.

The Way of Men is easily one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s both relatable and explores many aspects of masculinity that I’d never thought about before.

One of my favorite concepts that Donovan explains is “The Way of The Gang.” Even with our smart phones, cultural diversity classes, and countless amenities we’re still tribesmen at heart. This section was easy to relate to and reminded me of all the crazy situations that my bros and I have gotten into. It also made me think about how my friends and I have certain things that are only acceptable within the crew. As Donovan explains:

“Beyond us is them, and the line that separates us from them is the circle of trust.”

All the guys I’m friends with can mess around and mock each other all day long. However, if an outsider started talking trash the whole group would become hostile to them.

I also found that Donovan’s theory of the need for conflict as a masculine trait to be something that I’ve always thought, but have never been able to put into words. Bodybuilding, business, competitive fighting, learning new skills, and picking up girls are all deeply rooted in the world of conflict. In fact, this whole blog could be retitled “Robert Koch vs.”

Additionally, I found the book’s four pillars of manhood to be fascinating. It was interesting to learn how each element complimented the others and how neglecting certain aspects could have disastrous repercussions. Possessing a genius level of intellect will do little good for a spineless pushover, likewise being powerful but disloyal will quickly lead to trouble. Donovan also has a great section on the meaning of courage, which is something that I’d never thought about before reading The Way of Men:

“Courage implies risk, it implies a potential for failure or the presence of danger. Courage is measured against danger.”

Being a keyboard jockey, anonymous whistle blower, or the guy who scampers to Human Resources the second he hears an off-color joke; are not courageous traits. Where there is no danger there is no bravery.

If you’re a man you should buy The Way of Men. By the time you finish it, you’ll have a whole new view of yourself and the world around you.

P.S. I liked this book so much that I’m going to buy a paperback copy and donate it to my local library. Seriously, the book is that good.

 “In 1991, I was twenty-three and had just moved out to Los Angeles from Miami. I worked different part-time jobs as I was still young and didn’t have a clear idea what I wanted to do with my life.”

– Steven St. Croix

The most relatable book that I’ve read all year was written by a porn star.

Although by no means a great book, I found Porn Star-Everything You Want To Know And Are Embarrassed To Ask, by Steven St. Croix, to be a highly enjoyable read. The book is concise, yet packed with interesting and applicable information that most guys can appreciate.

Here are just a few of the important lessons I took away from Porn Star:

• Opportunity still requires action.

Croix didn’t get into the porn industry by chance, he had to seek out an entrance. Starting with a sales job for an adult film company, Croix worked his way into a position doing various off-screen tasks on the set of porn films. While he did get a lot of lucky breaks along the way, it still took initiative for him to achieve an acting position.

• Work is work.

Even a “dream job” that most guys would kill for can still be unpleasant. Between insane work hours, harsh conditions, and hasty preparation; being an adult actor is a stressful. I’ve never filmed a porn, but I have done a few student films and can attest to the frantic atmosphere that accompanies movie making.

• Porn sex is impractical.

While I was somewhat aware of this before, Croix does a great job explaining the ridiculous sexual positions that porn stars must endure. From having sex while standing on tip-toes, to shooting scenes in extreme climates and uncomfortable locations; most of the sexual encounters are physically exerting.

• Not every male actor has to do gay porn.

Until reading this book I’d always been under the impression that all male actors had to start their careers with titles like Two Guys One Dude. I was wrong. Male actors can choose which types of films they want to be in. While some of them do claim to be “gay for pay,” it’s their own decision.

• Be careful what you wish for.

My mentor once told me about an old Chinese curse that reads “May you receive everything you ask for.” In Porn Star‘s final section, Croix gives a similar warning to any young man wanting to follow in his footsteps:

“We think of ourselves abstractly. We see ourselves as having, or doing, or being something. But that vision is based on the premise that we will get what we deserve. When you’re young, you don’t think about mortality. But the truth is: what we do now has repercussions further on with family, friends, lovers, employment, and social opportunities.”

If you’re looking for a good summer read, or have an interest in the pornographic film industry, I highly recommend checking out Porn Star.

“Because 62 percent of Americans are overweight, a cheap way to achieve a sort of distinction is to be thin. This is the general aim of the top four classes, although the middle, because of its work tends to be sedentary, has a terrible time abstaining from the potatoes.”

– Paul Fussell, Class

Whenever my home state of Iowa gets mentioned in movies or on TV, it’s usually done so in a mocking manner.  Aside from Captain Kirk, I can’t think of a single Hollywood character who’s from Iowa and not an inbred hick. While the stereotype is somewhat true in the less populated areas, it doesn’t apply to most of the state’s residents. Same-sex marriage has been legal here since 2009, most citizens are for the legalization of marijuana, interracial dating is accepted, and the state is overall very liberal.

Despite this, a small number of backwards rednecks have still managed to tarnish everyone’s reputation. As such, Iowans are almost always branded as obnoxious racist homophobes who spend their free time attending klan rallies and fornicating with their cousins.

Because of this stigma, I grew up wanting to make sure that I could “fit in” outside the state. I made a conscious effort to learn how to present myself as a man of culture and taste, not some meth making goon. During my effort to become “classy” I stumbled on one of the greatest books about American social status to ever be published, Paul Fussell’s Class.

The most important lesson I learned from Class was that I wasn’t a backwards hillbilly, in fact I was doing better than the generic and politically correct middle class. It’s not uncommon for me to be described as “eccentric.” I’ll discus why Larry Flynt is my role model over Thanksgiving dinner, I love trolling people in real life, and I’m unphased by most “prestigious” titles and vocations. In contrast, Fussell notes that it’s the middle class, in an attempt to seem gentrified, who spearhead political correctness:

“Drunks are ‘people with alcohol problems,’ the stupid are ‘slow learners’ or ‘underachievers,’ madness is ‘mental illness,’ drug use is ‘drug abuse,’ the crippled are ‘the handicapped’….”

Aside from teaching me that political correctness is to be avoided, Class also provided me with several other valuable lessons. “Designer” brands are a symbol of being lower class (think every single rapper and their fetish for Gucci and Dior), body type plays a big role into determining social standings, and education involves being exposed to controversy:

“Where the more fortunately educated read to be surprised, the middle class reads to have its notions conformed, and deviations from customary verbal formulas disconcert and annoy it.”

In other words, everyone who gets butthurt when they read something they don’t agree with is just another generic tool.

If you’re looking for an enjoyable, and informative, read on the America social hierarchy, I highly recommend buying Class. It saved me the trouble of having conform to the inoffensive and bland mainstream culture.