“America sucks, I’m leaving!”

– Generic threat

Reasons to live in America

America gets a lot of hate throughout the word. Islamic extremists threaten to blow it up and complainers on the Internet like to shriek about its culture. Today I’ve decided to play devil’s advocate and throw out a few great things about the United States.

• Diversity

One thing that I’ve always loved about America is its diversity. Indian food in my fridge, Ethiopian girl in my bed, Swiss watch on my wrist. The Holy Trinity. While most places aren’t as homogeneous as they once were, America is still an incredibly diverse place. You can get some of the best items that every country has to offer without ever needing a passport. Between the ten billion restaurants, foreign travelers, and stores you have it all.

• Quality

Fun fact: In most of Latin America you cannot flash toilet paper. The sewer system can’t handle it and there would be all kinds of problems. Instead you have to throw your used paper into a trash can. Back home I could flush a 24 roll value back of toilet paper and nothing bad would have happened. In America I can also drink tap water, eat food that has been specially inspected by trained safety officials, and walk around at night without ever worrying about getting robbed. Additionally, the police are super friendly and don’t extort money from me or accept bribes from local thugs. I can get into a taxi and not have to worry about it driving erratically or kidnapping me. And I can use all kinds of high-tech equipment to assist my every need. Overseas this isn’t always possible. You get food poisoning because no one washed their hands before preparing your meals. Taxis drive like the driver just sat on a pile of bees. And you can’t flush your toilet paper. While none of these are major issues, they can get on your nerves after a while. You start to realize just how luxurious America actually is.

• Safety

Unless you’re an idiot it’s pretty hard to get hurt. When Americans get worked up they run home to Tweet about it. The entire social justice movement here is basically just blog posts and stupid memes. Foreign idealists pick up guns and go out to chop their adversaries down in the street. In Peru the communist party blows people up with car bombs and runs a lucrative cocaine operation. In America the communist party a bit kooky but pretty benign. No one is waging a guerrilla war against the government.

• Opportunity

While moving to a third world nation can be fun, it isn’t a great place to do business. Locals often keep things within their own communities and job opportunities are scarce. While this isn’t the end of the world for entrepreneurs and online businessmen, everyone else will suffer. Moving to Guatemala and trying to open a brick and mortar store would be a lot harder than it would be in the United States.

The Unites States gets a ton of hate from everyone, but I actually like it. Despite whatever flaws it has I’d rather be from here than any other country in the world. Other places might be fun, but they don’t have the same standard of living.