“There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool.”
– G. K. Chesterton
How to make guy friends
How many male friends have you made since college?
I’m going to guess that your actual number of new friends, not just dudes you talk to at work, is less than 10. In your free time you’ve probably talked to three times as many women as you have men.
The concept of male friendship is so rare that when I tried to find a pictures for this post most of the results were about platonic relationships between men and women.
There’s a stigma in America where men can’t hang out too much or it would be “gay” or “weird.” Even Hollywood tries to marginalize male friendship.
If there’s a movie about three guys hanging out its usually going to star Ed Helms and be about a bunch of dorky losers. A film where men got together to build a race car or train for a marathon would have to showcase how incompetent and clueless they were.
Since this seems to be a major problem, I’ve decided to share a brief guide on how to make guy friends.
Join a gym
Going to Planet Fitness probably won’t earn you any new friends. But enrolling in a powerlifting, CrossFit, boxing, MMA, or bodybuilding gym will introduce you to a ton of new people.
These places all specialize in one activity, which helps to bring members together. Additionally, the types of gyms I just listed tend to rely on group participation. You can’t spar against yourself or lift 315 pounds without a spotter.
While participating in a sport isn’t a guaranteed method of making new friends, it increases your odds greatly.
Take up an “old person” hobby
A lot of men who complain about political correctness need to visit a golf course. The guys there are cracking all kinds of off-color jokes and having a blast.
Golfing, fishing, hiking, and other hobbies might not be “cool,” but you’ll make great friends. Also, you can really network and get a lot of doors opened this way. While all your peers are getting drunk and wondering why they are unemployed you’re hanging out with people who’ve already made it.
From personal experience back in Iowa, you can meet far more millionaires, community leaders, and people you’d aspire to be like at a fishing outing or gun show than you can at a bar. The old myth of “networking” by going to a trendy, and expensive, nightclub is pure fiction. Its just a flimsy excuse that lazy girls who try to become “socialites” use to justify their poor choices.
Contribute to an Internet clique
The New Yorker famously published a cartoon showing two canines using a computer. It was captioned “On the Internet nobody knows you’re a dog.”
The joke is supposed to highlight how people on forums and blogs are trolls and losers. But in real life I’ve found the opposite to be true.
I’ve met well over a dozen people from different message boards and websites. And in every instance all of them were cooler than me.
Joining a forum or blog network can introduce you to some really interesting people. It also gives you some common ground to bond over and puts you in touch with like-minded individuals.
If you have any other suggestions let me know in the comment section.