“Anger Is A Gift.”
– Aristotle
Being nice to people while avoiding the decent into “human doormat” territory was a lot harder than I had imagined. I’m naturally cocky and semi-aggressive. Toning these aspects of my personality down was difficult. And, in the end, something that I didn’t feel was worth the effort.
By dialing down my aggression I muted my competitive side. Things started to feel like they were good enough. I was content with watching American Dad, instead of working towards my goals. Although I still hit the gym every day and read a lot of books, I didn’t do anything particularly bold or adventurous. During the final week I didn’t even feel like my normal self.
Despite not enjoying the challenge I did take a few things away from it:
- Win-win is bullsh*t
On paper the win-win theory works well. Everyone ends up with something and no one suffers. In the real world this isn’t true. While most people are good, they’re still self centered. You and I are just as guilty of this as all our perceived opponents. We always want something just a little bit better. To paraphrase the old adage: you give them an inch, they take a mile. I doubt this is always intentional, but it usually ends up happening. Someone always wants a better deal.
- You can’t please everyone.
When I tried to make everyone happy I got depressed. Also, at least half of them complained. There’s a reason nice guys finish last. While I didn’t fully research it, I’m almost certain that I got an equal amount of hate from being nice as i usually do from being myself.
- Question everything.
I was getting burned out from a lot of manosphere stuff before it was cool. The negativity present in a lot of the comments and forums actually factored in to me taking on this challenge. As much as I like most of the blogs, I can’t stand certain demographics of the fan base. White supremacists, guys who gloat over women being killed in freak vehicle accidents, and doomsday bloggers were all getting on my nerves. Fortunately much bigger authors had the same growing concerns. And, at the moment, it looks like the riffraff have been purged out. The trolls are gone and the quality readers are back in.
- Male feminists, probably, have low testosterone.
I stopped taking zinc for the month. the results: I felt a lot doughier, lethargic, and passive. I also, embarrassingly enough, temporarily lost my sex drive. Since there’s xenoestrogen everywhere, you ingest it when drinking from plastic water bottles, I wouldn’t be surprised if most men suffer from low T levels. Once I got back to boosting my testosterone, I was back to my normal self. However, you may wish to consult more scientific minds before accepting my crackpot theory.
- Danger is fun.
The edge is the best place to live. I remember hearing a guy get yelled at for taking Viagra after popping a molly. His friend kept insisting that the combination would kill him. He responded, “everything is dangerous. Would you rather die having sex while on drugs, or hiding at home?” I’d much rather take risks doing what I loved, than miss out by playing it safe.
Stay tuned for Monday’s post. I have a big announcement.