“In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn’t fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. This isn’t because the universe is cruel. It’s because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don’t appreciate things that fall into our laps.”
– Neil Strauss, “The Game”
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Are you going to cry about being forever alone and drink yourself into oblivion, or are you going to put in work and get yourself a girlfriend?
For years I was completely clueless as to how I should interact with girls. My main problem, aside from having a terrible haircut and braces, was the fact that I took the old advice of “just be yourself.” At the time I was blissfully unaware that it was possible, through research and hard work, to get better at anything. Unsurprisingly, I got my first girlfriend shortly after I got into the world of self-improvement.
While there’s no substitute for hard work, there are plenty of resources that will make your efforts easier. Below I’ve listed all the materials that ever dramatically improved my skills with women. Although nothing on this list will teach you anything about pick-up lines or where to meet girls, these books will help re-shape your attitude and allow you to develop long lasting positive traits that will improve all aspects of your life.
Mindset
Think and Grow Rich
Think and Grow Rich may have opened my eyes to the world of self-development, but David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man taught me to really push myself for personal growth. Aside from teaching some great personal development skills, the book also provides some logical and very convincing relationship advice. If you’re a man and you want to better understand both yourself and women, I highly recommend this book.
Conversation
How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere, by Larry King, is an incredibly useful book. Aside from improving my conversational skills with women, this book made it easier to converse with everybody: old people, strangers, random people at parties, etc… While the book doesn’t offer as many social setting examples as I’d like (most of the content is about interviews and business meetings), it still provides plenty of excellent material to learn from and some great advice on how to overcome social anxiety.
Physique
If the box office revenue for Twilight and Magic Mike have taught me anything, it’s that women love men with muscles. If you want to play the dating game on easy mode, pick up a copy of Tim Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Body and start hitting the gym. Although this book get’s a lot of hate, I actually enjoyed it. Some of the material is a bit… implausible, but most of the information both interesting and useful.
If you have any additional suggestions, feel free to sound off in the comments.