Are you a man between the ages of 18 and 89? Do you think about sex on a regular basis? Are you dangerously horny right now? Well, if so, I have an article for you! Today’s post analyzes the best passive income streams for getting laid.
That’s right, we’re looking at which business ventures and asset classes are ideal for picking up women.
Here’s a hastily made listicle – full of affiliate links – that’s using the allure of sex to catch your interest:
1. Affiliate Marketing, Dropshipping, Ecommerce
Nothing repels women faster than a computer based job. Better to live one thousand years a garbage man than spend 10 seconds typing in front of a screen. Telling women you “make money online” is a lot like announcing that you’re a child molester.
Not good.
Fortunately, when it comes to getting laid, you can always rely on the oldest trick in the book: Lying.
No longer do you post affiliate links to Twitter or run an anime review YouTube channel. Instead, you work in “entertainment.”
That T-Shirt Redbubble business? The fashion industry.
You get the idea.
One word of warning however: When talking to girls from a high economic zone like New York or Hong Kong, never say you work in advertising. They’ll 100% ask why you have any free time at all. And then you’re busted.
If you’re interested in this venture and want to take up affiliate marketing (or any manner of online business), be sure to check out HostGator or Blue Host for all your website needs.
2. Crypto Trading (Or Investing)
They say there’s a great crime behind every great fortune. And in the case of BitCoin and crypto currencies that crime is associating with an asset class for NEETs, incels, and shut-ins.
This is perhaps worse than admitting to running an Internet business.
The good news, however, is that there are at least some attractive women in crypto (usually working the sales angle for pump and dump ICO schemes). So if you do attend the next major Blockchain Conference, pretend you’re very interested in dumping your entire networth into whatever whitepaper project they’re hawking.
Also, if you are interested in BitCoin or crypto currency, check out any of these three referral links (Stellar Lumens, Orchid, and EOS,) to earn free coins (seriously, there’s no catch). Or sign up through Coinbase here and get a $10 bonus on your first deposit.
3. Stocks And Investing
The good news, consistent dollar-cost averaging allows you to build-up big positions very quick. And, thanks to mobile apps like Robinhood, you can always *accidentally* show women your penis $30,000 in VOO shares while pretending to check the time.
Now for the bad news…
Women will automatically assume that you don’t know what you’re doing and that you’ll end up losing all your money in some kind of flash crash. Also, any girl who knows about investing can already date someone 800 times richer than you. So your odds of getting laid are pretty slim.
Still, if you want to try investing check out the Robinhood App.
4. Bonds Or Money Market Accounts
Bonds, T-Bills, and money market accounts are great for picking up old ladies at the local bingo hall. Just watch out for any daredevil octogenarians who’ve played it risky by investing in something more volatile (like utilities).
Women love a bad boy, especially one generating those sweet 3% annual dividends.
If you really want to buy bonds, you can purchase ETFs full of them on Robinhood. Also, CIT Bank offers a terrific high-yield savings account.
5. Inheriting Your Family’s Multi-Billion Dollar Conglomerate
The only true path to all forms of success.
Work hard, grind away for long hours, and you too may have a shot at being born a natural gigachad with well-connected industrialist parents.
Enjoy your days skiing, hobnobbing at the Yale club, and picking up supermodels on your mega-yacht.
If you get bored, you can always hire a ghostwriter to pen your autobiography. Just make sure to credit all success to hard work and can-do spirit!
Final Thoughts
(Just A Typical Day For The Average Website Owner)
All jokes aside, starting a business for the sole purpose of impressing women is never a good idea. This concept, or similar emotional triggers (like making a bunch of money to buy a Lamborghini and then getting laid with that), are a recipe for disaster.
Set your own internal goals if you want to start a website, invest in BitCoin, or buy real estate.
Also, in complete seriousness, 99.999% of the population doesn’t care about how you make your money or whether or not you have a passive income stream. Don’t base your happiness on how you think other people will react to you.