“My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois – I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that was masculinity: big hairy sweaty guys who could pick up a bus.”

– Nick Offerman

Iowa is an icy and cold place. Contrary to popular belief it’s terrain is also very dynamic. Bluffs, cliffs, and massive hills dot the countryside. Without spoiling where I’m from, I live pretty close to the Minnesota border.

While the countryside is very scenic and draws tons of foreign and coastal tourists, it’s also incredibly dangerous. Once the snow falls it becomes easy to slide out of control. Every year at least a few people plummet to their deaths, drive into rivers, or fall down massive embankments. The massive cliffs also make cell reception near impossible, more than a few people have wrecked their cars and been forced to walk for miles in the snow. Growing up, my dad and I once got caught in a blizzard during the dead of night and ended up walking for three miles until some drunken snowmobilers gave us a ride back to our house.

Taking a third word bus through mountainous terrain scares me less than driving in my own zip code. Every road is surrounded by cliffs and hills and a lot of roads aren’t even paved. One wrong move and you’ll flip off the road, crash into a tree, and explode into a fireball.

While driving on Thursday I hit a patch of ice as the road curved. I tried to compensate but over estimated my turn. Seconds later I was flying off the shoulder and down a gully. After a mile and a half hike, I was able to call for a tow truck. The driver arrived, hooked a cable to my car, and had it pulled out in under ten minutes. He then gave me the bill. His base fee, which didn’t include mileage or the job itself, was over $100. I immediately learned something.

The lesson

The tow truck driver could charge whatever he wanted thanks to supply and demand. Since I don’t own a crane, I wouldn’t have been able to get my car back without him. He could have charged $1,000 and I would have had to still pay him. Because his service is actually essential, he can charge whatever he wants.

The second thing that I realized was that a guy who’s living revolves around pulling cars out of ditches can make more money than most “educated” people. While he, I assume, might not have know as much about the history of the Sudan as an African Studies major might have, he had a far more practical skill set. Woman’s Studies majors and art students are a dime a dozen. They can also be replaced with Wikipedia, or a basic Google search. No matter how advanced technology gets, there will always be a need for someone to pull cars out of ditches.

Rather than being mad at the bill, I thought it was cool that I learned a few things. A man with a practical service is able to make far more than most college majors could ever hope to.

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.”

– Molière

Two weeks ago the side of my face started to hurt. I dismissed it. My wisdom teeth are still coming in and figured that they must have been making face sore. This week I could barely do anything. I slept all the time and I was too lethargic to get anything done. After a few hours of being awake I’d be so tired that I’d have to take a nap. Falling asleep at nine and waking up the next morning wasn’t too uncommon. In the past this wouldn’t have been that bad, I could have skipped class or called into work. Unfortunately, I no longer have that luxury. Working for myself means that I have to come up with the money. Jobs were still coming in and work needed to get down.

I ended up devising a strategy to get me through the week.

Solve the problem

The week before I hadn’t cared about my sore face. I figured that I would deal with it later. Now I wish I’d taken care of things right then and there. Because I hadn’t addressed the issue, it grew out of control. While I could have gotten treatment and not missed a thing, I ended up pretending that nothing was wrong and suffering the consequences. While I got the issue resolved now, it cost me a lot of time, pain, and money.

Cut back on non essentials

Since I kept nodding ff, I needed to conserve time. I didn’t blog as much, I postponed my Fiverr gigs, and I used my free time for work. I tried to be productive whenever I was awake. While it wasn’t a great way to do things, it did allow me to still get things done. I won’t lie and say that I still made good money, but I was able to cover all my bills.

Give people a heads up

I hate flakes. Nothing makes me more mad than when someone ditches at the last second. Because of this I decided to give my clients a heads up. I warned them that their projects might take a little longer to be completed and I offered them a discount because of this. By being honest I saved all my accounts and everyone understood. The reduced rate also gave customers a greater sense of trust and all of them were nice enough to not make good on my offer.

Stay healthy

There’s a blogger I follow who tweeted this gem yesterday:

“Funny how when sh*t goes wrong in a mans life, he turns to masculine virtues to correct himself. Primarily, lifting weights.”

Because I was sick I made sure to eat clean. I had juice twice a day and still did some basic exercises. It wasn’t great, but it did help me out a little bit.

Find the best solution, not the one that fits your ideals

At the beginning of the year I swore off all drugs. In addition to narcotics and supplements, I also black listed medicine. I’d had a very romanticized vision where I’d spend the whole year being all natural. I had to break my promise. I ended up using medicine which is something that I usually detest and mock. Unfortunately I was past the point of no return and felt that medicated ear drops were the best immediate choice.

 Conclusion

Being sick, or facing any problem for that matter, sucks. It sucks even worse when you have to be responsible for yourself. When I could skate by I use to use sick days after partying to hard. Or I’d take a nap in one of the building’s more obscure bathrooms. Now I actually have to fend for myself. While the week sucked I did learn some valuable lessons. I went back to the basics, communicated with clients, and sought out the best possible solution. By doing this I was able to recover quickly and get back on my grind.

“Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. “

– Laurence J. Peter

As a teenager I was an anarchist. While I wasn’t particularity good it it, most of my time was spent smoking and writing bad poetry, I did have an epiphany that changed my life. Most of the people who tried telling me what to do had no real authority over me. If I followed their advice I’d be in the exact same position as them.

I’ve followed that philosophy ever since. It’s saved me from wasting a lot of time and anger. If I won’t want something someone else has, I disregard their advice.

Back in college I had a children’s literature professor who made every single assignment into a crusade about how classic stories were sexist. I did the work, turned in the assignments on time, and never bothered to take any of seriously. If I wanted to grow up and become a frumpy dork in an ill fitting sweater, I’d have absorbed every word. Since that wasn’t something that interested me, I paid zero attention to any of the lessons.

While this might sound obvious, the vast majority of people never seem to pick up on it.

If you want to be like someone else, follow their advice. Otherwise go seek out a better source.

“Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.”

– Sam Ewing

I spent the day writing articles about the best. The best flashlight. The best laundry detergent. The best soda flavored lubricant. If thy sell it I’ve probably written about why it was “the best.”

In yesterday’s post I discussed the cult of activity. No matter what there’s always a spectator section that loves to analyze and hates to participate.

While it’s nice to start out with the nicest things, it isn’t essential. The effort that you put in is going to trump whatever equipment you buy. There are plenty of top tier home gyms that are collecting dust, and expensive golf clubs that tucked away in storage facilities. Books with millions of dollars worth of wisdom are being used as doorstops. Buying something won’t make you good at it.

While I’m not advocating going to a decapitated gym, buying broken golf clubs, or reading terrible books I am saying that those items are almost inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. If you ate healthy and did a really simple workout, you’ll be light years ahead of some guy who bought all the latest equipment and never bothered to use it.

Last year there was a guy who went to the gym every day, bought all the hottest supplements, and worried about all kinds of technical details that I’d never heard of before. In the six months that I was around him he never actually got any bigger. The entire time he was in at the gym he’d just walk around and tell people about his supplements.

Not owning a top of the line product isn’t a legitimate reason for incompetence. People are always surprised to learn that I still use my Hamilton Beach Big Mouth Juice Extractor. It cost me $50 and I make different concoctions every single day. While it’s not a super expensive device, I still get a lot of use from it. Likewise, I’m sure there are plenty of Omega juicers that have never been taken out of the box.

If you want to get into something, you don’t need the best equipment. Outside aviation and playing polo, very few hobbies actually have a high cost of entry. Spend six months working on something and practicing everyday, then you can go to the store and pick up some high quality gear.

“Hey”

– Ten different guys opening message to my fake dating profile

Being a bit of a prankster I decided to make a fake female account on Plenty of Fish. I assumed that no one would message a girl named Meatyhaunches69. I was wrong.

Aside from the fact that this was obviously written be me, I assumed that no dude would ever actually find a girl like this to be attractive. The three kids thing, heightism, and obvious attitude should have been a big deterrent for most guys. This is basically the female equivalent to one of those Betapedia dudes you’d see calling himself bonerman9000 and saying that he only dated models.

I assumed that any dudes who did message my fake persona would probably be really sleazy. I was wrong again.

Like the time I went undercover as a Craigslist hooker, Meatyhaunches69 ended up getting a slew of messages that amounted to “Hey” or “Your hot.” Dudes who were posted up 50 miles away, in the comfort of their own homes, still threw out the weakest lines ever. I was flabbergasted.

The moral of this story

All trolling aside, there is a moral to this story. The vast majority of dudes either never talk to girls, or say some of the dumbest nonsense ever. Whenever I go out to bars or clubs most of the other guys will stand off in the corner and pound drinks until they’re staggering around. Only then will they actually try and go socialize.

The other afternoon I was listening to a great podcast where the hosts were discussing something similar. Guys who are into self improvement will surround themselves with like minded individuals. While this is great, they’ll end up assuming that everyone is on or above their level. When you and your friends are lifting weights, making money, and talking to girls it’s easy to forget that most people aren’t. It’s also really easy to make unfair comparisons that put a damper on your mood.

When I work on my business I’ll often beat myself up over no being as successful as some random guy I read about on a forum. Or I’d read a bodybuilding blog and then abstain from eating toast for the next month. Or a girl wouldn’t like one of my jokes and I’d sulk for the rest of the night trying to figure out why.

The vast majority of men are sitting at home on a Thursday night eating Cheetos and messaging “Hi” to girls on the Internet. If you go to the gym, have a hobby, and can hold a normal conversation you’re probably in the top 40% of all males.