“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.”

– Pablo Picasso

Being an adult is overrated

Yesterday I took a boat out on the ocean. The day was spent swimming with sea loins, playing with penguins, and getting a really bad sunburn. It was great.

Being at sea and frolicking with all the crazy animals was an awesome experience. Although it wasn’t “deep” or “profound” and most serious people wouldn’t get it, I enjoyed myself. Getting in a splash fight with a sea lion is just goofy old-fashion fun. You can’t help but smile and laugh.

Your 20’s are a weird time. Most of the people I grew up with are embarking on “the quest for adulthood” as I like to call it. Some of them are preparing to get married, others are getting 9 to 5 jobs. Stuff that mature and responsible people do.

And none of them seem happy about this.

Several months ago I got bored asked some of my peers what they were looking forward to. “Retirement” was one response. It got me thinking:

“Here you are in your early 20’s and the only thing you’re looking forward to won’t arrive for another 40 years.”

That’s pretty depressing.

How to enjoy your childhood forever

People love to knock get rich quick schemes. “There’s no evidence that they work” is a common complaint. A guy could say he makes $100,000 a year off affiliate marketing, but without evidence he’ll be labelled as a fraud.

Men spend hundreds of hours arguing about the validity of Tim Ferriss or Pat Flynn. Yet they blindly accept advice from authority figures in their daily life. People with zero evidence of any sort of success. Most authority figures have nothing to back their words up with.

With the exception of three professors, I’ve never met an academic who I’d want to trade places with. I don’t care if you’re an expert on early colonial social movements, you’re still a f*cking loser. Same goes for a lot businessmen. Being CEO of some tractor factory in Nebraska isn’t something I’d want.

Most of the advice that people will try to give you is just as flawed and fraudulent as those get rich quick schemes. Work 40 years and then retire on the company’s dime is just a slower and less polished version of “passive income.”

If you want to be able to enjoy yourself you’re going to need to put in some serious work and lay a foundation. I basically spent an entire year locked up in my room figuring out the best ways to make money. It sucked. My friends were out drinking and getting laid and I was staying up all night experimenting with different businesses. That’s not fun.

Living with your parents at the age of 21 is embarrassing. But all that blood and sweat paid off. I went from my childhood bedroom to seeing the world.

Although I’m not actually retired, I can pretty much travel around doing whatever I want. Spending a Tuesday in the ocean, going out on a weeknight isn’t something that most people can do.

Between economic instability and health issues, no one can guarantee that you’ll be able to retire. Unless you have the talent to get a good corporate job right off the bat, and if you want advice on that check out Wall Street Playboys, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ll be stuck with mediocre prospects.

From personal experience I can say that you’re better off going down your own route. If you have to choose between being a data entry clerk in Des Moines Iowa or being a data entry clerk on oDesk, pick oDesk. Both jobs are just as soul-crushing, but the later allows you to work from anywhere.

Men stuck with limited options need to realize that they can carve their own path. Being an office drone isn’t the only choice out there.

“I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve. Two sleeves is a serving size.”

– Brian Regan

Are american portions too big?

In Iowa bigger is better. A restaurant can draw a crowd as long as it offers massive portions. The food doesn’t even have to be good. Unlimited hot wings. Endless pancakes. Infinite spaghetti. As much mediocre food as you can handle.

Even places serving finite quantities give you way too much. As an adult I don’t think that I’ve ever been able to finish a full meal.

Almost every bar and restaurant is home to the world’s largest hamburger or pizza. For a couple bucks you can end up with a 72 ounce meal. That’s more than I can handle.

How much do other countries eat?

In my past travels, when I’ve gone to Central America and the Caribbean, serving sizes were about the same as they were back home. I remember eating a one pound burger and mountain of fried rice in Belize, and Nicaragua has some pretty hearty meals as well.

Peru has been a different story.

While the food is outstanding, portions are pretty small. They were prepared for 5′ 4″ Peruvians, not a 6′ tall American ectomorph. When I ate out all the time I actually lost weight. It’s the opposite of what would have happened in the States.

This isn’t a bad thing for most people, but it was tough for me to eat enough. I’d end up getting breakfast and then sneaking across the street so that I could order another dish. Or I’d stop by a food kiosk and load up on banana chips.

Eating at restaurants made me skinny

Going to restaurants was causing me to lose weight. And fast too. I lost a lot of muscle mass within my first month.

On top of this I was always hungry. This lead to all kinds of problems that I would never have envisioned. At night I had trouble sleeping, my lifts went down in the gym, and it was hard for me to focus on any one task for very long.

Even though I was eating healthy dishes, like chicken and rice, I wasn’t getting a lot of good nutrition. The portions were too small and my diet wasn’t as balanced as it was back in Iowa. There was no vegetable juice, zinc, or other supplements. Just what I was getting at restaurants. It was damaging my health.

The solution

Eventually I stopped eating out as much and started cooking for myself. Doing so allowed me to get all the protein and nutrition that I needed. It also helped to end my poor gym performance and stopped my muscle loss.

For a long time I thought that gargantuan American portions were the only thing causing health problems. Giant burgers and greasy fast-food. However, I seem to have been mistaken.

A lot of people make the assumption that foreign restaurants as being healthier. While these places might not serve a gallon of soda and one pound basket of onion rings, they do have their own issues.

Eating out for every meal is going to take a toll on your health. Even if you’re going to fancy restaurants or places that serve healthy dishes.

If you want to protect your body you need to cook your own meals and take responsibility for your nutrition. Don’t forfeit your well-being to some anonymous chef.

“If people were paid for writing rot such as I read in some of those magazines that I could write stories just as rotten.”

– Edgar Rice Burroughs

7 common men’s blog mistakes

Since 2011 I’ve been reading manosphere sites. Before then I used to browse through The Art of Manliness on a daily basis. And before that I was collecting old men’s magazines from the 1950’s and 60’s.

Basically I’ve been involved in masculine entertainment for most of my life.

If you ever pick up an old men’s magazine, or just look at the cover of one online, you’ll notice that the content is eerily similar to most of the “edgy” stuff now.

Looking at the pulp cover from the start of this article you can get a feel for what I’m talking about. With a simple name change “The Incredible Harem Of Doctor Heeber” could be about Dan Bilzerian or some rapper. “You’re Eating Poison By The Plateful!” pretty much sounds like a headline ripped from a Paleo blogger. And “A Beginner’s Guide To Buried Treasures” could be a Bitcoin article.

Everything old is new again.

One of the downsides to pulp collecting is the price. Buying a good magazine is expensive. As a result I have a lot of inexpensive duds in my library. Looking through those has shown me a reoccurring pattern that leads to poor content and low readership. This is something that bankrupted publishers in 1962, and it could ruin your blog now.

Here are seven common mistakes that could cost you your men’s blog:

1. Excessive vulgarity

A lot of new writers go crazy with swearing and nudity. They go overboard with f-bombs, gross-out humor, and naked girls.

The big problem with this is the fact that it really eliminates most of your audience. People can’t read your site at work or school and a lot of guys would be embarrassed if they were caught browsing it. This doesn’t mean that you have to be tame, but you should and find a balance.

There are only two good blogs, that I can think of, where excessive vulgarity actually worked. The guys running both sites are the rare exception to my rule. Most dudes, however, could never emulate them.

2. Acting like a megalomaniac weirdo

I always laugh when I see guys acting like they are the reincarnation of Emperor Nero. Dudes get 30 readers on their free blog and they go mad with power. A classic example of this would be something that happened during my first six months of running my site.

When I started 30 Days To X some insane troll showed up to leave massive rants about all kinds of weird nonsense. I blocked him from commenting, but was intrigued by his madness. Doing a quick Google search revealed that this weirdo, and his equally bizarre friend, ran a horrendous looking forum where they were apparently experts on global law.

The two of them were, literally, the only members but they acted like their site was some massive success. One of the two even wrote a list of rules for readers including a fine of “1,000 troy ounces of 99.99% pure gold” for anyone who quoted his posts on other parts of the web.

Acting like you’re better than the people who read your site is a great way to lose an audience.

3. Negative tone

Around the tail end of 2012 I stopped reading all manosphere blogs. Instead I read “softer” sites like James Altucher’s and Bold and Determined. Reading fitness advice and life lessons might not be as manly as subjects like “30 Feminist Tumblr Bloggers Who Want You Nurtured,” but it was positive and got me motivated.

Negative articles wore me down and made some of my favorite blogs unbearable. The content went from being fun and interesting to whiny and annoying. Articles about meeting women or staying healthy are fun. Pieces about marriage being a raw deal for men, or posts about society’s inevitable downfall get old fast.

What’s worse is the audience that these subjects attract. If you write bitter and negative garbage don’t be surprised when your readership is made up of losers. It’s better to be positive than to find fault with the entire world.

4. Belittling others

Little sites with poor audiences love to “discredit” more established bloggers. Tucker Max and his new site wanted to bash everyone else in his niche by claiming that other men’s blogs were run by dorky virgins working at T-Mobile. After doing so Max sat around scratching his head and wondering why no one was showing up to read his content.

Obscure and lousy blogs are almost always the ones that try to slander others. That’s why they remain small and meaningless.

If you want to grow you have to work with others. Making fun of everyone in your field isn’t going to get you very far.

5. Posts no one cares about

A few weeks ago I was browsing a popular site when I noticed that the newest post covered something that no one would care about. The article read like a dear diary entry about some band. While the author could have made this relatable to his readers, he chose to write a meandering piece that didn’t do anything or go anywhere.

All the comments mentioned this and a lot of people were really upset.

If you want to write a personal story you need to make it relatable.

6. Generic information

While personal posts should always have a connection that others can relate to, they should never be too generic. Writing bland posts is a huge turn-off for any reader. They could go to a thousand other sites and get that exact same information.

Your blog’s content isn’t as important as your tone. If you look at most of the points on this list you’ll quickly realize that almost none of them have to do with actual content. They have to do with how you present your material.

Being generic is a huge problem. Without any sort of voice you’re going to find it very difficult to stand out.

7. Lying

You have to practice what you preach. The truth will come out eventually and people don’t take kindly to frauds. I could probably triple my readership by writing about going out and picking up girls. That’s a subject that tons of dudes love. I could easily whip out posts like “How to meet girls at concerts” or “How to meet girls at the beach” and watch traffic skyrocket.

But I don’t do this because that’s not stuff that really interests me. I’d be lying if I pretended that I was some pickup wizard. My dishonesty would make me rich, but I’d get caught eventually.

It’s better to be honest than to try and fabricate some persona.

None of these rules are set in stone

There are a million ways to do anything and you shouldn’t let others tell you how to live. If you want to declare yourself a god and make a site filled with porn videos that bashes feminists, that’s your choice. Maybe it will become huge, who knows?

However, I think that my rules listed above are generally applicable to most guys.

If you have any other suggestions feel free to leave a comment.

“There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.”

– Abraham Lincoln

The secret to taking better pictures

The other day I was Skyping with my Grandma when I noticed that my living room had terrible lighting. There’s a massive glare that projects off my forehead and it looks awful. No matter where I’m at it looks bad.

Poor lighting can cause all kinds f problems. It can make your pictures look grainy, obscure important material, and create a terrible presentation. Bad lighting, and a lousy staging areas, can easily make you look like a depressing weirdo.

Before I get too far ahead of myself I want to reel things in and start at the beginning.

Why men should learn about photography

I never really cared about photography until last year. It didn’t seem that important to me and I didn’t put any real effort into becoming photogenic.

This eventually became a huge problem.

When I decided to take up online dating I was in for a rude awakening. I didn’t have any good photos to use. My pictures were either grainy because they’d been shot in clubs at night, or uninteresting. Even if I took a selfie it would look bad due to the fact that I didn’t know what I was doing.

While I could have hired a professional photographer, I wanted to solve this problem on my own. And in order to do so I turned to one of my childhood idols for help.

Robert Rodriguez, the guy behind classic movies like Planet Terror and From Dusk Till Dawn, started his career with a low-budget film called El Mariachi. He made the whole film for $7,000 and turned it into an international success that raked in millions of dollars. Being a film nerd I owned a copy of his book, Rebel without a Crew, which detailed exactly how he was able to make the film so cheaply.

Flipping through the book I found the section on lighting. Rodriguez had used ordinary desk lamps to illuminate his sets. As the owner of a desk lamp I figured that it was possible to do something similar.

After spotting a good place to take some pictures I set up my lamp and got to work. While none of my shots were outstanding they got the job done. Some good photos set to an interesting backdrop really helped to boost my online response rate.

How to take winning photographs

Recently I’ve been on a cooking grind. I’ll make three to four meals a day. I’ve been considering sharing some of these recipes online, but I want to include pictures with every dish.

Unfortunately bad lighting and poor locations were holding me back. Every photo I took looked horrible. It was discouraging and I was ready to give up.

Before quitting I decided to make one last attempt. I went to the store, bought a lamp, and spent an afternoon fiddling around with different shots. Here’s the difference that good lighting and a nice backdrop made:

This first picture has zero additional lighting and is really poorly framed. You see more of my table than you do actual food. It’s too wide and unfocused. Everything looks dark and grainy as well. If I saw this in a cookbook I’d skip making it.

This second picture was taken with the aid of my desk lamp. I also tightened everything up so that you know what you’re looking at. Additionally, I kept the travel brochures in the background as a sort of visual garnish. If you were just looking at my table and a plate the image would be boring. This way there’s more going on.

Cheat sheet to improving your own photos

• Practice taking pictures before you post anything.

The secret to taking better pictures is practice. If you’re getting profile shots for something like Tinder you’ll want to have a bunch of photos before choosing the best ones. Even with someone else taking your pictures you’ll want to know how to compose a shot. This way you can get comfortable in front of the camera.

• Use a good light source.

I can’t stress this enough. Most cameras, especially on phones, are terrible in the dark. Day and night shoots should both use additional light sources. Amazon has a 600W Lighting Kit for less than $50, I’m ordering it when I get home next month, but a cheap desk lamp can work in a pinch. Any light is better than grainy darkness.

• Think before you shoot.

If you’ve ever visited one of those sites dedicated to terrible dating profiles or social media accounts, you’ll quickly realize that most of the people suffer from poor photography skills. They pick weird places to take their pictures, dress sloppy, and have very strange spacing. The image below is from a BuzzFeed article about the worst dating profiles.

Despite being at a museum, about Ancient Egypt none the less, this guy ended up wearing a dorky hat and snapping a picture in front of some grey wall of text. A change of clothes, better posture, and a more interesting location within the museum could have made this guy look cool.

• Look at other photographs.

I’ve been studying a lot of culinary photography. Everything from frilly shots of cupcakes to sleek images of gourmet food. If you have a cooking site I’ve probably spied on it.

In addition to standard books and blogs I’ve also checked out some of the weirder material. Rapper 2Chainz released a cookbook last year, and I’ve really enjoyed the imagery from it. It inspired me to sketch out some ideas for incorporating things like guns and boxing gloves into photos of stews and burgers.

A lot of guys overlook photography and never take pictures. They don’t really care about the subject or think that it’s only for attention starved girls. As a result they miss out on a lot of opportunities. They are unable to create visually impressive pictures and have trouble highlighting their best features when they present themselves on social media or dating websites. Even things like making YouTube videos require you to know a little about lighting and shot composition.

I’d highly recommend learning some basic photography skills. You’ll need if you ever want to work on a visual project like a blog, eBook, or YouTube series.