“Boobs boobs boobs boobs lotta boobs.”

– Nicki Minaj, I Endorse These Strippers

While this site had little need of them, basement dwelling perverts can actually be monetized.

As I’ve mentioned before, most of my search hits come from terms like “teen rape’ and “where to buy used panties.” The viewers who arrive off these searches aren’t going to stick around to learn about health or money, instead they’ll wander off in search of something else to masturbate to.

However, were I running a porn site, selling books on picking up girls, or authoring erotic literature; I’d want these scuzzballs to pour in by the truck load.

Fortunately, there is an easy way to draw a crowd of neck beards to your site:

Rename image files before uploading them.

The above image is a picture of some ordinary potato chips. There’s nothing special about it. Yet it will gain me a ton of additional hits. Why? Because I renamed it “Nicki Minaj Sex Tape.”

Whenever you post an image to your site it should contain an alternative text with some kind of description. Search spiders will then read the  description, and file it appropriately, instead of merely seeing a file with no meaning whatsoever.

If you name your images after a popular search term, Google will associate the page they appear on with that phrase. Anyone who’s ever looked up Osama Bin Laden’s death pictures, or a celebrity scandal has more than likely fallen for this trick.

Assuming that you name your images after something relevant, you should see a increase in traffic.

“People don’t condone what they’ve never seen.”

– Deion Sanders

Upon publication, Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass caused an uproar. Whitman was fired after his boss read the book and deemed it “offensive.” Critics lambasted Whitman for having released it, slandered his image, and called the work “a mass of stupid filth.”

Today Walt Whitman is considered to be “America’s first poet of democracy.” Leaves of Grass can be found in any library, high school, or college in the country. Additionally, Whitman’s writings directly influenced authors such as Bram Stoker and Jack Kerouac. Even if you’ve never read any of his poems, you’ve experienced something that bore the mark of Walt Whitman.

Moral of the story: Just because people attack your work doesn’t mean it sucks.

“Ideas come from everything.”

– Alfred Hitchcock

[Warning: The following is something that I thought of at 3 am. It has yet to be tested]

Participating in numerous Internet forums has taught me two things:

1. Every forum has certain members whose posts are chalked full of wisdom.

2. Trying to navigate old threads is a huge pain.

As such, it’s sometimes really hard to read through everything that a consistently useful member posts.

My, theoretical, solution is simple. Propose an eBook deal between the poster and yourself.

Ask the poster if you can compile a “best of” his material. Split the profits 50/50, with you doing all the grunt work, then host the final product on a site like E-Junkie.

Assuming your product was reasonably priced, other forum members would gladly buy a copy. Additionally, it would take very little time or money to compose your book. I could see this venture as something that could be turning a profit in two weeks’ time.

“Losing can persuade you to change what doesn’t need to be changed, and winning can convince you everything is fine even if you are on the brink of disaster. “

– Garry Kasparov

Over winter break I wanted to get good at Chess. I watched YouTube videos about different strategies, bought books on historical games, and stayed up late reading about Chess theory. After a few weeks I knew all the basic moves.

I was ready to play.

During my first game I made a blatant error that cost me my queen. I lost shortly afterwards.

My second game didn’t go much better. While I did manage to avoid some of the mistakes I had previously made, I still got beat.

The third, fourth, five, sixth, and seventh games all went equally as badly. I’d unwittingly do something stupid and set myself up for defeat.

It took sixteen games before I finally beat an opponent. It took me another five before I learned a valuable lesson: all the training in the world is no match for field experience.

I learned more about Chess from an afternoon of playing it than I had from weeks of study. There is no substitute for real experience. You could spend 10,000 hours reading about Chess tactics, and you’d still lose to a guy who’s spent a fraction of that time actually playing the game.

The same principle applies to business. Skimming Good to Great isn’t the same as starting a company. A book won’t make you stress out, you can’t fail at reading, and text isn’t going to try and screw you out of something. Real life, on the other hand, will do all those.