Robert, Author at 30 Days To X

Weekend challenge

May 17, 2013 By Robert 2 Comments

“It takes a great man to be a good listener.”

– Calvin Coolidge

If I had to venture a guess, I say that 85% of our daily conversations are just meaningless filler. The vast majority of topics we discuss are nothing more than social niceties, talking points so dull that we completely zone out from them. Saying “that’s cool” while thinking “I don’t care” has become my default response to almost every conversational trope known to man. While it hasn’t happened just yet, I expect that in the future at least one of my exchanges will go like this:

Me: “How was the family reunion?”

Other person: “Terrible, I got molested by my uncle.”

Me: “That’s cool.”

My apathy isn’t meant to be malicious, it’s just something that naturally arises from not being apart of something. Whether junior just took his first steps or you had a cocaine fueled orgy, I wasn’t apart of it and thus it has little impact on me.

Of course, this lack of interest goes both ways. I can’t even count the number of times when I’ve excitedly retold a story, only to hear “that’s nice.” When you actually care about something, it’s the most infuriating response on earth.

This weekend I’m going to try and pay attention during every conversation I engage in. It’s probably going to be boring and I’ll have to sit through a lot of drivel, but it will mean a lot to others.

When people share a story, no matter how boring you find it, it’s because they thought it was important. Even if their story sucks, which it probably does, you owe it to them to pay attention.

If I hear anything worthwhile I’ll probably Tweet about it. Have a great weekend.

It was written

May 16, 2013 By Robert 2 Comments

“Goals allow you to control the direction of change in your favor.”

– Brian Tracy

In my adolescence I used to stay up late and watch an anime show called Death Note. For those unfamiliar with the series, it followed a guy who found a special notebook that belonged to the god of death. By writing someone’s name within the book, he was able to kill that person.

I have a similar notebook.

Granted mine was procured at Walmart and can’t kill anyone, but it’s still kind of similar. Whenever I want something I write it in my book and I usually get it. If I want to lift more weight and do more reps at the gym I commit it to paper. When I want to read a hard book I’ll jot down my goal.

Every time I write out my desires I get them. It’s not always an immediate process, but it does happen. If I don’t put my goals on paper, I’ll never do them. I’ll make excuses and compromises, or I’ll simply forget that I’d ever wanted it.

When I have a piece of paper in front of me and I can visually see what I want, I’m far less likely to make compromises. It’s far more disappointing to see physical evidence that you’ve failed than it is to rationalize away your lack of success.

Golf, gold diggers, and retribution

May 15, 2013 By Robert Leave a Comment

“Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.”

– André Malraux

During my freshman year of high school golf a minor controversy erupted.* One of the older kids was allegedly seen cheating on a hole. Unfortunately, due to a lack of substantial evidence, he wasn’t punished. Aside from spending the rest of the school year as “the guy who cheated” nothing bad happened to him. He didn’t get kicked off the team, or die in a car wreak, or suffer from whatever other justices the universe is supposed to deal. Instead he’s still alive and doing well, exploiting easy routes suffering no repercussions.

One time I was partying with a girl and we got into a conversation about luxury items. She said something about never having to buy any of her clothes or jewelry or expensive alcohol, because there was always some dude willing to foot the bill. No flesh eating bacteria has left her disfigured, guys haven’t stopped paying her way, and she hasn’t died in a freak explosion. Karma hasn’t punished her, and probably never will.

There are thousands “average guys” who never get ahead. They put in their eight hours, do exactly as their told, and still don’t see any major rewards. Granted they aren’t suffering, but at best they’ll waste their entire lives to achieve nothing more than a decent paying job in a pretty good city. The ghost of Frank Capra isn’t going to slip them a winning lottery ticket, or give them a surprise inheritance simply because they showed up to work almost every day for fifty some years.

On any given Saturday night there are hundreds of thousands of men staying in to follow their dreams. Building businesses, programing, studying the economy, writing books, and doing countless other unglamorous tasks. They’re the type of guys who become “surprise” successes, going from nobodies to household names. But they didn’t do it overnight like everyone else assumes. They were hustling while the guy who always takes the easy route bailed from work at quarter to five. They were struggling and and toiling while the gold diggers were all Instagramming their free drinks. And they were finalizing their products and honing their skills while Joe average was shoving down IHOP pancakes with his obese children and diabetic wife.

There is no such thing as karma, only hard work.

*Details are not 100% accurate, due to the author’s shoddy memory.