“A higher proportion of [rape] cases designated false involved 16- to 25-year-olds.”
– Liz Kelly, Professor of sexualized Violence at London Metropolitan University
How to avoid getting charged with rape
Recently there’s been an epidemic of false rape accusations. If you’ve kept up with the news you’ll know that there was a high-profile incident involving a girl who fabricated a brutal gang-raping at University of Virginia.
However, this is nothing new. Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle, a good-natured comedian from the 1920’s, had his entire life ruined by false rape claims and yellow journalism. And black men throughout the South were savagely beaten and killed whenever a bored white woman decided to accuse them of whistling at her.
If you’re a man you’re at risk of being falsely accused of rape.
You don’t even have to have sex with a woman to face charges. Max Temkin, the creator of Cards Against Humanity, awkwardly made out with a girl and then got accused of raping her.
Guys who actually have sex are in a way worse position. Especially if you’re into bondage or anything rough.
Although I’ve mentioned this before, I was once falsely accused of sexually harassing a girl.
While out at a college bar some random chick was all over me. I was a teenager at the time and was still a little nervous about getting really physical. This girl continued to ramp up the raunchiness before being dragged back home with her friends.
Later that same night she called my phone to yell at me about harassing her and being a sexual predator. Her friends ended up defusing the situation and I later learned that this girl would hook up with a different guy and accuse him of taking advantage of her in some manner almost every single weekend.
That single event had a profound impact on me and made me paranoid about false claims regarding sexual harassment or rape. While the claims weren’t taken to court or anything, the experience still terrified me. At the time this happened I had no clue as to how I could protect myself.
And my story isn’t unique at all.
I’ve talked to dozens of good men who’ve had their lives, and reputations, ruined by similar false accusations. Some had to fight these claims in court. Others had to deal with rumors and social stigma. One guy even had made up claims posted about him online and they damaged his career.
Men, especially younger guys who are in college, should take the following precautions:
Drunk girls are the greatest threat to men
You don’t practice magic tricks during a witch hunt and you never declare yourself an atheist while there’s an inquisition afoot. If I were still in college I’d be very careful about trying to meet girls at bars or house parties.
Thanks to new laws emerging on both the East and West coast, you can be kicked out of school and branded as a rapist under the flimsiest evidence imaginable.
I’ve been going to college parties since I was 16. From my five years of experience I can tell you that a lot of party goers drink unholy amounts of alcohol. I know girls who will start pre-gaming at 5 in the afternoon before going out around 10 at night.
Anyone, whether they’re a man or a woman, who has been drinking for five hours straight isn’t going to be functioning properly. When you’re that drunk you operate on a very primitive level.
Next time you go out to a bar refrain from drinking and watch the people around you. There will be some point when a girl at the venue does something stupid and starts crying or making a huge scene. This is over something dumb like an argument with her boyfriend, some fight with another girl, or various other stupid things.
Then take a look at how many guys rush over to defend her. I’ve seen situations where a girl cried about some guy being a jerk and then her gung-ho flock of platonic male friends rushed out to fight the dude or smash his car up.
If a drunk girl will have a meltdown over some guy not responding to her texts, imagine what she’ll do after accidentally having sex with a dude she doesn’t like.
Avoid girls who are dramatic
In his incredible book, Games People Play, Eric Berne discusses a common situation known as “Let’s You and Him Fight:”
“As a game it is comic. The woman sets up the competition, and while the two men are fighting, she decamps with a third. The internal and external psychological advantages for her and her mate are derived from the position that honest competition is for suckers, and the comic story they have lived through forms the basis for the internal and external social advantages.”
To put this in layman’s terms, sometimes a woman will dupe two saps into fighting over her so that she can be amused. Some girls cause trouble for the thrill. There’s no real logic to it, but they enjoy the conflict and power.
Luckily, there’s a really easy way to avoid these situations. Don’t associate with girls who are dramatic. If conflict follows her everywhere she’s the cause of it.
If a girl only has negative things to say about every guy she’s ever dated or slept with, why would she do something different with you.
This is a big shocker for most guys and something many men never realize, but girls who are difficult and overly dramatic aren’t worth pursuing. If you can surpass every one of their challenges the “reward” is getting to see more of their bad attitude.
Don’t play games with manipulative women. Spare yourself the risk and just avoid them at all costs.
Save your texts
If you have a girl coming over, send her a text that implies that there will be sex. Don’t do something corny or vulgar, but make it clear that something will happen. Then screen-cap her response.
Actually, record all of your text conversations and store them somewhere for later. Having these on hand could help against any future allegations.
From what I’ve noticed in the media, people reporting on these cases act like the girl is always some kind of innocent virginal saint while the man is a creepy dudebro rapist from Hell. Reading some of these news reports would make you think that every girl on campus is a pious nun who has never drank or even thought about sex. Meanwhile all the men are sacrificing kittens to honor Satan and buying Rohypnol by the palate.
Having proof that sex was on the agenda can, at the very least, help to expose the fraudulence of any claims made against you.
I want to remind you of two important things. The first is that I’m not a lawyer or an expert on false rape accusations. Go consult a professional for better advice. Secondly, and this is for anyone with an IQ under 50, I’m not condoning rape or writing a “get out of rape free” guide. This is for men who face false claims against them.
And finally, I want to point out that the first two steps, avoiding drunk girls and overly dramatic chicks, are essential to keeping out of trouble. Once I started being more careful about the types of girls I associated with, my worries dropped significantly.