“Not cool. Jokes about forking repo’s in a sexual way and ‘big’ dongles. Right behind me.”
– Adria Richards
While the world was crucifying Pax Dixon one of my coworkers was making a double entendre about “big packages.” He was doing so on the job and in mixed company. No one ran to human resources. There was no scandal. Everyone laughed and went about their business.
Later that afternoon I heard a guy say “I’ve been eying the clock for three hours now.”
Someone responded “you must be one horny motherf*cker.”
No investigation was held. No special committee formed as a response. There wasn’t even a sensitivity meeting.
When I was a kid my dad owned a construction company. While none of his employees were doing anything exceptionally wild, there was plenty of horseplay. Dudes would trash talk each other, play pranks, and talk about guy stuff. It was a genuinely fun environment. Whenever I hear people talk about “the masculine workspace” construction automatically springs to mind. The men were men and balanced hard work with having fun. And, at the end of the day, they had something to show for their efforts.
Growing up I wanted to work in the tech industry. Being 12 years old and seeing live footage of E3 made me want to work for a game developer. I’ve always been a nerd and love nerd stuff. Video games, comic books, and science fiction have always been, in my opinion, the epitome of male fantasy. Saving the world from aliens before having a menage a trois in your private spaceship is hard to surpass.
For most of my life video games and geek culture was geared towards men. It was scantily clad women, guns, fighting, and epic conquest. Now things have begun to change. There’s a huge backlash about nerds being misogynists and the tech industry being “male dominated.”
It’s gotten to the point that any man who says anything remotely offensive, like a possible sexual reference involving “dongles,” is persecuted. I actually feel bad for the next generation of nerds. They’ll all be inevitably fired after suggesting something horribly sexist like making a game too difficult for women.
Fortunately, there are still industries immune the tyrannical grip of equality. Unfortunately, they aren’t glamorous. Factory workers, plumbers, welders, builders, and salvagers; basically any job that involves getting dirty. I’ve had several “unglamorous” jobs over the years, from sweeping floors to scrapping air conditioning units. Surprisingly, they’ve all been a lot of fun.
While working at a Christmas tree farm, I got to shoot AR-15’s with my boss during a lull.
Doing construction at a Burger King, I spent the afternoon blaring “Ruff Ryder Anthem” and hearing raunchy stories about another guy’s trip to Mexico.
Mowing the grass at a cemetery, I was free to do whatever I wanted. I ended up rapping along to Young Jeezy while trying not to run over headstones.
If you’re adamant about not giving into political correctness, there are two things you should do. The first is to start earning money on the side. Create a Fiverr account, write a cheesy eBook under a fake name, run a blog, there’s a million ways to get started. Secondly, while your business is taking off, get a blue collar job. I work in a warehouse, making $10 an hour with benefits. All my work is stress free and pays above minimum wage. It covers my expenses and allows me the free time to pursue my own goals. On evenings and weekends I do manual labor. Chopping wood, stacking bails of hay, building fences, tasks most people would be too good for. Since there’s no competition, I usually walk away with a sizable amount of pocket change. Back in July alone I managed to save up almost $2,000.
If you don’t want to surrender your life to a bunch of idiots who get offended about Mel Gibson quotes you tweeted three years ago, I suggest you start a side hustle and find work in a “working class” trade.