“You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan’s Island.”
– Ron Jeremy
While researching methods for putting on a lot of muscle in a short amount of time, I came across a lot of strange theories. Most of them seemed pretty stupid, but there was one that caught my attention. The basic idea was to not whack off, in turn this was meant to somehow raise testosterone levels and help build muscle.
Although the idea sounded a little too much like bro-science, I decided to give it a shot. For two months straight I decided to make “muscles over porn” my mantra.
Here’s what happened:
- I became easily angered.
Everything made me mad. A car would doddle at a green light and I’d start yelling at it, someone would act stupid and I’d call them out, I’d hear an annoying pop song and my blood would boil; to put it mildly, I had a lot of angst.
- I was super productive.
For reasons unknown, I became a workaholic. By not playing a solo on the devils clarinet, I was forced to put my energy elsewhere. I studied Spanish more, read harder books, started some new websites, and tinkered with a bunch of different activities. In addition, I began pushing exponentially higher weights while in the gym and was always in the mood to go work out.
- I thought every girl was hot.
No really, my standards for attractiveness went down to “has a pulse.” On a happier note, I also became far more motivated to go out and talk to girls. Also having sex felt like the most indescribably awesome thing ever.
- Overall I had more energy.
Every morning I woke up early without hitting the snooze button. Sometimes I’d even get up before the alarm went off and start my day an hour earlier than scheduled. I ended up quitting coffee during this time, simply because of how energized I felt. It was like I was perpetually alert and functioning at my fullest.
While it may sound like I spent the past two months punching dudes and hooking up with “big boned” women, that wasn’t the case. After about the third week I managed to dial in my anger and, thanks to a little thing called self respect, managed to never try anything with any girls who I wouldn’t introduce to my friends. Once I got into the hang of things I actually found not whacking it to be immensely enjoyable. In fact, I liked it so much that I’m going to stay on the program indefinitely.
Lastly, if you’re on the fence about trying this type of program I highly recommend watching Gary Wilson’s excellent TED talk on the subject.