“I can tell, just by looking at guy, whether he will be a good fight. Some of this process is unconscious, but there are conscious factors present. Tattoos mean sh*t. Cauliflower ears mean everything.”
– Danger & Play
Fighting, along with finance and seduction, is a skill set that most men are completely unqualified to instruct on. Never the less, I hear tons of dudes pouring out horrible advice on how to win in street and bar fights. Their drivel essentially sounds like this:
“Do the triple dragon crane kick. Then put on a bandana and yell something vaguely Japanese, you’ll shoot lasers out your eyes. It works because I saw it in an anime once.”
In reality fighting is nowhere near as glamorous as it is in Jason Statham movies.
It’s not worth it
No one ever starts a fight if there’s a chance they’ll lose. That guy who tries to punch you at the bar probably has three buddies who will join in if things go badly for him. Or he’ll pick something up and use it as a weapon.
I have a friend who got in a shoving match with some drunken hick. The fight never escalated to blows, and the guy was eventually dragged outside. When my friend went out to his car at the end of the night, he discovered that “someone” had slashed all four of his tires.
You aren’t a professional
When’s the last time you watched UFC or Boxing, and saw a fight between two random guys who’d never trained? I thought so. Reading an Internet article and doing a dozen bicep curls is not going to make you Adrien Broner. Real fights are sloppy messes. Go on WorldStarHipHop and watch a couple melees. In a real situation the average man isn’t going to have time to scroll through his mental Rolodex of martial arts maneuvers that he saw on TV.
The best way to win a fight
When the opportunity to engage in a fight presents itself, walk away. I’ve had about a dozen opportunities to get in skirmishes and, with one exception that was unavoidable, have managed to stay out of all of them. Even in scenarios where you “win” a fight, you’ll still have to contend with possible legal action.
Do yourself a favor and stay away from punching it out with random dudes at the club.