“Girls don’t like muscles.”
– An idiot
See you in the gym,
The days keep changing, will you?
“Girls don’t like muscles.”
– An idiot
See you in the gym,
“Have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.”
– George Carlin
I used to punish myself if I couldn’t meet every goal I had set. If I didn’t read enough or make enough money online, I’d deny myself the privilege of going out on a Friday night or doing something fun.
This system worked well for awhile, then it imploded. Instead of working rationally towards my objective I’d fear failure and procrastinate.
I’ve adopted a new work ethic now, one where I do the best I can and see what happens. Unsurprisingly it’s been a hundred times more effective.
If, for reasons out of my own control, I didn’t reach a certain non-essential goal; I don’t beat myself up over it. When Friday night rolls around I’ll be out having fun, not sitting at home desperately trying to reach some quota.
I think this fear of inadequacy is rather common amongst guys who get into lifestyle development and self improvement. They see other people and start comparing themselves to them.
I might not be on the same level as a Colin Wright, but that doesn’t mean I need to punish myself because of it.
However, just because I’m not overworking myself doesn’t mean that I’m being a lazy slug. I still work hard towards my goals, but I have fun doing so. If anything, having the time of my life and enjoying my youth has actually made me more productive. I tackle my “to-do” lists with new zeal and enthusiasm, adding to them and pushing further.
Being alive is the longest activity I’ll ever engage in, there’s no reason for me not to enjoy it.
“Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since ‘nam!”
– Seth, Superbad
Rather than waste your time with a list of reasons that you shouldn’t wear cargo shorts, I’m going to keep this simple. If you fall into any of the demographics below, it is perfectly acceptable for you to strut around in your finest pair of cargos.
If you’re under the age of thirteen you probably don’t buy your own clothes anyway. As such, feel free to cargo up. You can also get away with donning an extra long pair of tube socks, or whatever else your mom buys you.
If you shoot lions and live with African bushman you get a free pass to wear cargo shorts. If you don’t stab rhinos in the face every day you should wear jeans like a normal person.
Ugly lesbians, along with obese Wisconsinites, can get away with wearing whatever they want. Why? Because no change in wardrobe will make them look any more/less attractive.
Any self respecting man between the ages of seventeen and death should never purchase or wear a pair of cargo shorts. They make you look like an asexual dweeb who’s biggest thrill in life is a biweekly trip to Home Depot.
“Whatever our recipe might lack in complexity of volume will be more than recouped in intensity.”
– Randall J. Strossen, Super Squats
Until I started doing 20-rep squats I had always thought of myself as a hard gainer. In high school I’d come home from basketball practice and eat a whole frozen pizza and massive bowl of ice cream without ever gaining a pound. Between when I started lifting in January and the end of March, I’d only gained about 20 pounds. While I looked more defined, I wasn’t much bigger.
Then, in early April, I saw Danger & Play endorse Randall J. Strossen’s Super Squats: How to Gain 30 Pounds of Muscle in 6 Weeks. Initially I though the book’s premise sounded a little too Tim Ferriss-esque, still I bought the book and decided to try it out.
Two months and 20 some pounds later, I can wholeheartedly say that Super Squats is the best workout program I have ever followed.
At first glance the book seemed too simplistic and easy. There are no crazy exercises, Strossen doesn’t unveil some miracle supplement to take, there’s no out of place celebrity endorsement, and no one creates a silly acronym for the routines. This is just an easy to read and straightforward book about why you should drink lots of milk and make 20-rep squats the central part of your workout. That’s it.
Despite the program’s simplistic nature, it’s brutally difficult. The first time I completed a set of 20-rep squats I threw up on myself. Another time I stumbled and rolled the bar across my neck, causing me to nearly blackout. On a different occasion I forgot compression shorts and ended up ripping my boxers in half after my thighs swelled up.
If you’re looking to gain a lot of muscle in a short amount of time I highly recommend picking up a copy of Super Squats.
“I had an unfair advantage in that I really, really hated being a chode. Most people just find it moderately uncomfortable.”
– Owen Cook
Long time readers may have picked up on this already, but I’m going to finally state it outright: I did not enjoy my childhood.
I didn’t grow up dirt poor, or get raped by my uncle; I just didn’t have a lot of fun growing up. Around the time I became a teenager my family moved to rural Iowa, a place where I didn’t fit in. I was the type of kid who liked art films, poetry, books, fixing computers, and cooking. Everyone else liked football, hunting, and trucks. As such, I spent most of my teens feeling like an outsider. To say that things weren’t great would be an understatement. Thanks to a combination of my environment and Web MD I thought that I suffered from an incurable case of depression.
I decided to make a bold move and leave the country, a decision which made me realize that I wasn’t depressed after all. I returned home with a new found confidence and started to really enjoy my life.
Then summer came.
I was back with the same people I’d grown up with, and I didn’t enjoy it at all. I spent most of my time at home reading books and avoiding everyone. Three months of boredom and depression really took a toll on me. Since then I’ve been dreading summertime and trying to insure that it will be better than last year.
While I’ve made a lot of new friends from going out and talking to strangers, I wanted to make sure that my summer would be a memorable one. To do so I’ve spent the last two months getting huge on a 20-rep squat program, dressing more stylishly, not using my Facebook account, and becoming more cultured.
I’ve secretly been working on each of these items since early April, and I’m now at the point where I feel comfortable enough to share my results with you.
The recap begins tomorrow, stay tuned.